| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: pls pls as many opinions as possible from men and women, im having a hard time deciding if my b/f is a bit pervy or does he love me. everything comes down to sex if i want anythin he will jokingly reqest sex or a favour like that. when i see him he ses do u notice iv been good and not mentiond sex if i say i will then change my mind he goes on for ages bout sticking to arrangements actually this applies to life in general.its come to the point that i feel real dread if i cant stick 2 agreed plans with him for any reason. we have just got bk together afta time apart because id often wake up to him doing IT to me. and he would only ever do it not the normal way all the time. should it be easy to change my mind in a relationship. and if i dont feel like sex i can change my mind and tell him without worrying.xxx Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): Pervy. I don't mind my guy touching/caressing me awake, but to actually go IN me asleep, that's like violating me. If he can't hold a decent conversation without bring up sex, then you will get to a point you can't take it anymore. Love and sex are different. Don't mistake sex for love.
A
male
reader, damluvaam  + ♥, writes (24 February 2009):
 I don't think I would want my girl asleep while "doing it". Yeah, that's a little strange.
But to your question, you can absolutely change your mind about the relationship AND the sex.
I don't know if he's "pervy" and he may love you a great deal but you're clearly not comfortable and that you should change right away.
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A
male
reader, urbanking99  +, writes (24 February 2009):
On reading this personally I think the guy is only interested in sex. Yes men are to a certain extent ruled by their penises, but if he was interested in you 1st As an equal, 2nd As a woman, 3rd as a friend, then finally as a sexual partner then I would say you have a relationship.If however you find yourself waking up to him as you say "doing it" to you, then to me he is a complete and utter weirdo and you'd better just end it now.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (24 February 2009):
 I think he sounds as if he has a high sex drive and you dont i would also comment on i feel it is wrong for him to be doing it with you half asleep!
It is a simple rule in a relationship regarding sex if you are not comfortable doing something he suggests dont do it equally if you dont feel like having sex you dont have it.
You can pleasure him orally or by hand if you feel that would satisfy him and you that way you dont have to have full blown sex if you dont want too and he gets pleasured and relieved simple.
You should never ever worry about telling him that your not up for sex one night or your not happy with doing certain things never ever, if you are worried through his attitude then that needs addressing and asap cause no relationship sexually or otherwise should make you feel worried at all take care.
Gina
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A
male
reader, ISOHaven +, writes (24 February 2009):
This is strictly my opinion. You seem to have a break down of respect. Sex between two people should include AND ONLY INCLUDE things that are wanted by both parties.1. He should NEVER do anything to you that you do not want done to yourself. But you must SPEAK UP and let him know YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT (whatever "that" is).2. If he's constantly joking about the same thing then again you need to be up front with him. Tell him you do not like it. Then if he continues you need to confront him and ask him why he feels the need to disrespect your wishes. He better have a GOOD ANSWER for that one.If he can't respect you then it's time for you to move on or get help (counseling) if you choose to keep the relationship.Again, this is my opinion, you are NOT in a healthy relationship.
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