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Is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend? Was I wrong to tell her how I feel?

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Question - (4 August 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 January 2011)
A male India age 36-40, *aurabh writes:

I foolishly risked my friendship with my one and only friend because I love her too much. Now she's not talking to me. Is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend? Did I do any wrong telling her how I feel about her?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011):

it isnt wrong to fall in love with your best friend i did the same thing as you and he didnt mind it i recently found out he liked me when he met me. it shouldn't take long and if she still doesnt talk to you, you may hafta move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008):

It is never wrong to fall in love. Love is an emotion, it happens for various reasons and is beyond our control. You can't help what you feel, you can't demand your feelings and emotions to do what you want, but you can control your actions.

Now you fell in love with somebody wonderfull, she has to be wonderfull, because she became a friend, somebody you liked to spend time with. You told her how you felt, this was something you did by choice, but I suspect you thought about it for a long time, and not something you just blurted out. It was worth a try, if you didn't ask, you would never have known. She must be feeling confused, scared and vunerable. Because of this love you feel, she must be feeling like she lost her best friend. No problem, your still her friend, you still want the best for her. I really like the letter idea. I wouldn't continue to tell her how much you love her, but I would remind her of the friendship you shared, how much you miss her and how sorry you are for upsetting her. Then leave it and allow her to contact you, if she wants to start the friendship up again. You can contact her in a couple of months and see if she wants to begin friendship again.

You must accept how she feels. You did nothing wrong, and if she wants to pull away and discard your friendship because of this, then I will tell you, that she's doing a very stupid thing. You've been a friend, you told her how you felt, that's what friends do. She may not be able to cope with this, she may see you in a different role now. But this is not your fault. You've done your best, now all you can do is wait, and hope that she (and you) get over this and can rebuild your friendship again. Good luck to you, hoping things get better as time passes... Blessings

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A female reader, bubbly! Dominican Republic +, writes (4 August 2008):

if she didn't see it coming, she must be confused...When my best friend told me he had fallen for me, (he did in a letter), i just broke apart crying, i felt confused, betrayed, it's weird...cuz i didn't see it coming..and if it didn't work out i'd be alone, cuz he was my BFF!! so he called and asked me: did u read the letter? and i said yes, so we didn't talk about it for like a week, and then he told me he loved me, and he really wanted to be with me, so I told him, i loved him too but i couldn't ruin our friendship, and he said everything would be ok, sooo we kinda gave it a chance...and i love him, he wasn't wrong, it isn't wrong...cause when you know a person so well, when you spend so much time together, when you care...you can't be wrong, and that's the kind of love that lasts, cause u already know everypart of the other person, how reacts, how to amaze, when to call and knowing things are wrong, so i wish i really wish you have the same luck as i've been having, and she loves you backk!! BEST OF LUCKS!!!! =)*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008):

No it's not wrong to fall in love with your best friend and if you were willing to tell her your feelings you are very brave. It just made things slightly awkward between you. It could be that she feels the same way but is too embarrassed to tell you or doesn't want to ruin your friendship. She should start speaking to you again, if you just act casually around her. The way you normally do. Don't pretend to act casual around her because if she is your best friend she will be able to sense an awkwardness.

I hope it all works out for you.xx :)

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