A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is long, but I feel so miserable about this. And please don't answer unless you read the whole thing. I'll know if you didn't read the whole thing.My best friend in the whole entire world is a guy. I love him to death and we've been friends since freshman year. (I'm a junior now).He's had a steady girlfriend for almost a year now, and I've had like on and off boyfriends since 9th grade.We're so close and he's always been there for me like giving me advice about things when I'm stuck and I listen to him when he's having a problem. And I know this sounds really cliche, but he really gets me. And no, I mean he REALLY understands me. He's the person who calls me out when I'm being selfish or not nice, but does it in a way that makes me want to be a better person because he gives me such great advice in such a kind way. Generally, just an amazing person.I recently got myself into a relationship with someone who I thought was really nice at first, but it turns out he's a creep and is just looking for sex, which I'm not going to give him. And he's not respectful of me at all and I'm so frustrated and I feel so stupid for getting myself into this.So I told the above mentioned best friend about this at this get-together the other day and he got upset about it because he really cares about me and looks after me. He was there for me giving me advice and just being so kind to me.And then he told me that I deserve to have a boyfriend who isn't a creep. And he's really concerned with how violent this guy can get, and he said that he wants me out before I get hurt. He told me to do whatever it takes to get away from him because he's concerned. He said "I don't care what you have to do, at least you'll be safe. And I'd rather have that."And then he said that he wants to help me find someone. And he got like real quiet and said "If you could have anyone, even if they had a girlfriend, who would you have?" And I just looked at him and didn't say anything. And he looked over at his girlfriend who was talking with some friends and got this far off sad look. And I know that look, I've seen it before.Then he brought up his girlfriend. He told me how his girlfriend cheated on him this year, and how it killed him but he's still with her. When he told me this, my heart broke for him. I just wanted to erase it for him. =\He tells me he wants someone for me who respects me and loves me. And while we sat there, me listening to all he was telling me about how a relationship should have romance and respect and stuff, I like wanted to cry. Because then I realized that I like him as much more than a friend.But he has a girlfriend. And even though she cheated on him, he loves her so much. And she doesn't realize what she's got with him. He's so kind and sweet and loving and caring. And it sucks that I just now realized he's everything I'm looking for. And I'm such a terrible person.I have a boyfriend, though we've only been dating a month, and he has a girlfriend.We've talked a lot since that get-together and he's been trying to coach me through breaking up with this guy. And I'm leaning on him, like I usually do, but this time it feels different, because I feel different about him.I just ugh. I'm so frustrated with myself. Everybody's been saying for like 2 years that we are made for each other, and he admitted that he really liked me freshman year. But I was so stupid and hung up on other people, and now I realize what they're talking about. God, I'm just so frustrated with myself.I know it's selfish and I know it's wrong of both of us. And I don't know what to do. I love him so much, just now in a different way. And I haven't yet had a relationship that's felt like a "real" relationship. And it's just too bad that this is another thing that I'm just not going to have. And I don't want him to break up with his girlfriend just to make me happy, but for once I want to be happy. Is that wrong?
View related questions:
best friend, has a girlfriend, violent, want to be happy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): well no it isnt wrong for you to want to be happy... lets face it EVERYONE does..
well in my opinion you should tell him how you feel and explain your feelings you are his bestfriend you can tell him anything!!
dont worry about his girlfriend she cheated on him yes they are still together but you have to see where his head is in the relationship with her.
if you start to date you have to always know that if things dont work out they rarly go back to how they were. so you have to be willing to sacrfise your friendship.
anyways hun take care and let me know how you go
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): you are looking at the man of your dreams!! you are looking him in the face you both need to sit down and talk about you relationship with each other.keep in mind you both need to have whats best for the friendship first.you both mainly need to talk.
...............................
|
