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Is it possible to be too tight for penetration?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2010)
A female Croatia age 26-29, *yra Anna writes:

So here`s the thing. I`m with my boyfriend about 4 months now and I know it`s not such a long time, but I`m pretty sure that we met each other very well so we started in last two months talking about having sex for a first time. We are both virgins and I`m sure I want to lose my virginity with him, but I`m little nervous because I`m afraid that he wouldn`t be able to penetrate me. I came to this conclusion because I`m so tight down there and it hurt a bit when he tried to fingering me last time. And I`m worried that the sex will hurt as hell, and bleeding and other stuff. Ok, that sounds like I`m not ready but I`m just a control freak and a big panic queen so I want to have control on the situation and be prepared for all of it.

Is it possible to be too tight for penetration or I`m just freaking out totally unnecessary?

View related questions: both virgins, fingering, too tight

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010):

Well, chances are that sex will hurt the first time. I found that I was in pain for the first 6-8 times...nothing too painful, just uncomfortable. With that said, it is possible to be "too tight" this is particularly true if you're really nervous. You need to relax as much as possible and let it happen. Although it may not be necessary, lube might make penetration a little easier. The most important thing is to really be in the mood and try to calm your fears. To do this, talk to your partner about sex until you're really comfortable with the idea of it. Also, let him continue fingering you and giving you oral sex to let you get used to him touching you and increase your comfort level. When you're talking to him about it, I hope you feel comfortable enough to tell him that you're feeling nervous and that you're going to need him to go slow and a good guy will respect that. You'll be fine :) after the first time, it gets easier and it feels better...eventually you'll just love it, enjoy it and want it all the time! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

It is possible to be too tight. If it hurts when he fingers you, keep it to fingering for now, until it starts to feel good and not hurt.

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A female reader, trigger18 United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2010):


if you want to make sure that you are not too tight try to spend a while on foreplay and make sure that you have warmed up properly. Also because its your first time i suggest lubrication too as that will help. Some people do bleed during their first time but some dont and if you relax and concentrate on the pleasure its shouldnt be painful. And finally dont panic so much if you panic you will think that your first time was rubbish but you should just relax and be sure that you really want it then and that your not feeling pressured because your boyfriend does. Going back to the tightness... alot of guys like it wen a gil is tight as its a very pleasurable feeling so remember to relax, take your time with it and have fun.


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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

Don't be afraid of being too tight. You might bleed but that's normal and eventually it will stop hurting. Just be slow about it. Maybe let him finger more.

Before we started having sex regularly (like more than once a week) I stayed tight and bled a teeny tiny bit every time so I guess it's not unheard of to be super tight. Just make sure to use lube if you need it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

hi :) the only advice i have is to just grit and bare it. there are ways to make it easier, but the bottomm line is that, if its painful, sooner or later you're just gonna have to bare it. make sure you do lots of foreplay beforehand in order to get lubricated; this makes it easier and slightly less painful. it varies for everyone, but generally, for most girls, it is quite a painful, or atleast, uncomfortable experience the first time. it depends on his size, both lenght and width, and also on how tight you are etc, but remember there is extra lubrication you can buy, you can find it in places like boots or the chemist, and this will help also.

also, if you really are ready to take this step with your boyfriend, then you should have no problems in being able to talk to him openly about it. tell him that you're worried about it hurting, and he should be more than happy to take things slowly at first. in the standard "missionary" position, male on top of female, he is in control of how deep he goes inside you so he should take it nice and slowly for you, and stop at any time you ask him to. depending on how that goes, you might also want to try being on top, as you can control, yourself, how deep it goes in. either way, communication is key. dont be embarrassed to suggest anything that you think might help, or tell him to stop if it hurts too much.

i was very tight and for me, i couldnt get it all the way in until the second time. so the more you do it, the easier it becomes. i wouldnt worry about it.. everyone goes through it! :)

as for the bleeding, just make sure you put a towel down or have something nearby.. bleeding is perfectly normal and most girls bleed, so just be prepared.

also, and im sure you are being safe anyway but its always better to mention it, use a condom and maybe even get yourself on the pill. its so much better to be safe than sorry. good luck and remember, if it doesnt happen exactly how you planned it or doesnt quite go in all the way.. dont worry about it! its completely normal and these things take time. :)

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