A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I need some help before I wind up hurt. Just to begin, I am bi and there is this guy that I have known for nearly three years now. We've been pretty good friends ever since. I've always kind of thought that he might be gay and up until recently I didnt have anything to base it on. We've been living together for about a month and one day I decided I was going to find out. Well long story short I have been doing some stuff with him that...straight guys?...proobbaablly wouldnt do. Now it's been about 2 weeks since we've done anything and im not sure what to make of it. He has a girlfriend but even she will say that it wouldnt surprise her if he was gay. I dont know what to do. I really like the guy and if he is gay I would love to have a relationship with him. If he is not gay then why would he let me do these things with him? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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female
reader, Juney  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 He's probably bi-curious. Its surprisingly common. He hasnt had the nerve to come out and admit his interest in men yet, even though its obvious to everyone around him, even his girlfriend. As you said, he would not be letting you do these things with him if he was not attracted to men in the slightest.
I think that by moving in together, he has seen a way to explore these feelings in complete privacy, with someone he regards as a friend, so I think you should tread extremely carefully, because its not only you that could get hurt. He may well turn out to be gay, and your wish of a relationship may come true, but he may also decide that he is not after all, through no fault of yours, and may want to put these experiences behind him.
There is no easy answer to this one, i think you simply need to give him time to work out whether it is honestly men or women he prefers, and as you are both quite young, that could take quite a while.
A
female
reader, mshel +, writes (5 January 2008):
 listen i hink that you should get him drunk and ask him then cuz when your drunk you always tell the truth. but another way is to just ask him straight up be honest with him. ..x..
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