A
female
age
36-40,
*ran
writes:Hi,It's been 4months I got married. Few days back when we were talking about the adult store I asked my husband if he ever went to striptease. He said his friends arranged a bachelor's party for him there so he went to that place. Its just a week before our marriage he went there. Knowing I felt bad he started back at me saying its common in bachelors life and whats wrong with this. I couldn't take this. I feel he cheated on me. I couldn't even see his face at the same time I couldn't be like this as I love him. Is this not cheating how can I overcome?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): If he has cheated you after marriage then that is called cheating.. he had done something and had told you about it right now.. so its not a cheating.. its natural for all girls to feel cheated.. but bear it in mind.. he dint cheat you in marriage..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): He is not cheating , no where near It . You can defeat nature , guys will always lust after women , Guys will always want multiple partners , Its natural .
When I walk down the street , Guys stare , try and make conversation , hand me business cards , stare lustfully ..Its what they do .
Lap dancing clubs are a great , sensual , NON cheating experience . Is it sensual and a turn on ? Absolutely ..
Cheating is when he has Sexual intercourse with another female . He was doing the right thing by you and you have massively over reacted .
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A
female
reader, Tarawr  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 It is cheating. He was looking at someone else in a sexual way. It doesn't matter if it was a bachelor party or not; he was engaged to you, so he was NOT single, and he acted wrongly.
Guys always say it's "their last night as a single man," but this is the complete opposite of the truth. They are so close to being married, but they are still pretending that they are single.
It's just like it was stated in the video game Mass Effect 2: "So humans celebrate marriage with the temptation of infidelity? It doesn't make any sense!"
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A
female
reader, pran +, writes (19 February 2010):
pran is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll four of you, thanks for the reply.
I still can't accept him doing it. For sure its not correct.
But as you said and I too feel I shouldn't make it an issue and ruin our relationship myself. I try to be normal to him.
Again thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): To calico58 - I am not the original letter writer, but what you just wrote validated a lot of my feelings, and provided me with a way to articulate some of what I have been thinking. Great advice! Thank you.
To the original letter writer - I understand your feelings. I would feel betrayed as well. If my husband had one of those "parties" I wouldn't be married today.
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (19 February 2010):
I've been through some bachelor parties at a strip club and it's harmless. The dancers get naked and just do a little show. He probably got a spanking but it's for good laughs. Theres no sex involved in any way. The most action that will happen is a little bump and grind and that's it. His last day as a free man so I'm sure he enjoyed it with his friends as you probably did with yours. You both started a lifetime of happiness together and that's all that should matter. This was probably for a couple of hours not a weekend so you should trust him and know that it's out of his system and he's with you now. Hope I made you feel better about this whole thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): I don't think it is cheating. I think if your husband had done anything he shouldn't have at the bachelor party, he wouldn't have even told you he had a party there. You should trust him.
Don't let this sour your marriage before it has started!
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