New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225365 questions, 979856 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I'm 22 and in love with 15 year old stable girl

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2005) 37 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2012)
A , anonymous writes:

Hi! I'm 22, and I've fallen madly in love with a 15 year old girl. I live on a farm where we rent stables, and the girl in question keeps her horse on the stableyard. Whenever I'm walking around the yard she always looks at me, so I think that the feeling is mutual. I don't know what to do. I'd really like to go out with her in the end, as I've never felt like this about anyone before. She's perfect! Or am I just being an idiot? Please help!

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, diamandis Ireland +, writes (24 July 2012):

It's ok by me :)

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012):

age is only a number...im 15 years old and i fell madly in love with a 20 year old...he and i both know what we want to do in the future and havent had sex because we know the concequences. unfortunatly he has cerebral palsy but we work through it and to me he is just the love of my life. no one knows about him on my side but his whole family knows about me. bottom line is that you should start to talk to her and ask her for a hug when she has to leave. if she clings on its a good sign and maybe even before she leaves u should talk to her about ur feelings for her...GOOD LUCK :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

im in a little different situation, im 28, i met a 16 year old girl 5 months ago and have gotten really close to her family, as far as im concerned no one will ever come close to her in my heart and mind, her family all know pretty much how i feel about her because of talking with them and how i talk about her, i talk to them all the time about it and there fine with it more then me anyway. not that they say i can date her just they understand where im coming from so yeah (1) i would never try to be in a relationship with a 16 year old (2) i focus on building a friendship rather then a relationship and at this point that consist of just encouraging her to pursue her goals any other form of friendship doesn't seem to mesh (3) she seems to love me and leave me depending on her mood and things like that will always remind you of the age difference until she grows up. So yes I do honestly and earnestly care for her, more then i let myself admit, I am going to wait until she's 18 and ask her how she feels about me, and prepare myself for the rejection, lol, but i realized recently that i am in love with her, its not about how people say "wanting that one thing" "just giving into my male fantasy" heck no, my beliefs are very strong about waiting until marriage and she and her family have the same so that's not even the thing here, I don't have those desires for her at 16 and yeah im a man so i fight those thoughts when they come up mainly bc im trained to and i have large respect for her to not think of her inappropriately, im not insecure, i don't have any problem attracting woman my own age, but this girl has a spark i have never met anyone like her and she has the ability to become an amazing woman and i wouldn't risk taking that away from her, ideally id wait till she was 21 but i worry someone will take her away from me before i had a chance so its hard but the facts are someone that young does not have the ability to form intimate relationships because they don't understand who they are yet. i learned this the hard way, i would say, be someone positive in her life, but let her live at her age don't fast forward her to things she's not ready for, Be the man you would want her to be with, we would all agree if you really care about her you put her interests above your own and who she picks in her life if not you :) should be someone who builds her up and makes her a better person everyday. Love is not jealous and does not look for its own interests. we dont know whats going to happen tomorrow but we have to live with our entire lives in view because there is such a thing as time, and there is such a thing as consequences, alright then

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dollygirl United States +, writes (2 September 2010):

You cannot control your feelings so don't feel like a freak because the young lady you clearly have a romantic interest in happens to be under the age of consent.

Firstly you need to talk about your feelings with her to see if it's mutual or not.

Secondly, don't be sneaky. Ask her parents for permission to take her on a date. If they agree then great if not then respect their decision and -- I repeat -- do not be sneaky and see her behind their back.

Should they decline to let you take her out then ask if you can speak to her on the phone or write her.

If they still say no be persistent and show them that you genuinely are interested in her by repeatedly asking them (don't be annoying about it though). This shows them that you're not some scum trying to take advantage of a 15 year old girl. It shows them you care about her for HER.

Should everything go smoothly and you do get a chance to go out with her, do not be forward with sex -- even if she initiates it. Be the responsible and mature ADULT THAT YOU ARE and ask her to wait.

I know this sounds old fashion, but it's the right thing to do as well as the mature and responsible thing to do. Young girls are fragile and they are easy to take advantage of -- so don't be a jerk and do the right thing if you really care about her.

Dolly

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dollygirl United States +, writes (2 September 2010):

You cannot control your feelings so don't feel like a freak because the young lady you clearly have a romantic interest in happens to be under the age of consent.

Firstly you need to talk about your feelings with her to see if it's mutual or not.

Secondly, don't be sneaky. Ask her parents for permission to take her on a date. If they agree then great if not then respect their decision and -- I repeat -- do not be sneaky and see her behind their back.

Should they decline to let you take her out then ask if you can speak to her on the phone or write her.

If they still say no be persistent and show them that you genuinely are interested in her by repeatedly asking them (don't be annoying about it though). This shows them that you're not some scum trying to take advantage of a 15 year old girl. It shows them you care about her for HER.

Should everything go smoothly and you do get a chance to go out with her, do not be forward with sex -- even if she initiates it. Be the responsible and mature ADULT THAT YOU ARE and ask her to wait.

I know this sounds old fashion, but it's the right thing to do as well as the mature and responsible thing to do. Young girls are fragile and they are easy to take advantage of -- so don't be a jerk and do the right thing if you really care about her.

Dolly

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

I think you should pray about this issue I myself am a 14 almost 15 year old and have never even seriously dated, so it would be very surprising to have a 22 year old man express his feelings for me and also very difficult to process at 14 I have no real idea as to how my life is going to turn out or who I will fall in love with. I am a sophomore and rarely even think about my future love other than to pray that God will send me someone truly remarkable that loves me. I be her friend at first and if later on you do chose to pursue a relationship with this girl I would be careful how far you take you're physical relationship not just because of legal responsibilities but also for the emotional sake of the girl I have seen many a friend jump into a physical relationship with someone they thought they love that left them and i broke their heart because they are not mature enough to deal with the loss.

hope this helps God bless you

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

I am in a similar situation, I'm 20, and I discovered my soul mate in the body of a 15 year old. To the naysayers, it's easy to cast judgement on someone such as I, but be aware that it is by no means a choice. I never believed in "love" before meeting this girl, and it was love at first sight in the sense that there was an almost immediate connection between her and I. I was fortunate in the fact that our love was able to grow and be nurtured through over a year of close friendship (our parents shared a household), and in the end it felt more natural than anything I have ever experienced. It is an incredible, amazing, indescribable feeling, and should not be taken at face value. She makes me feel, and I make her feel, like nothing else in the world matters. But, this type of relationship does not come with out it's many hardships. I have gone through periods of extreme guilt, depression, I was forced out of the house and made homeless for it. But, I tell you that I regret nothing, we only ever kissed, but I would go through all of the hardships that I went through repeatedly, if it meant one minute with her. For me, and I honeslty don't care if you believe, it isn't about her body, or the sex, it's not about me, it's about "us", and "us", is the most amazing word in the English language. And to you, random question asker, you are being somewhat of an idiot, first off for falling madly in love with someone you haven't had the balls to speak to, and second for asking the opinions of people on the internet. Trust yourself to do what you know is right, don't put faith in judgemental people, or "God", or anyone. Trust yourself, you know better than anyone or anything what the right thing is.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ihopeidontloseu28 United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

YOU ARE NOT BEING A IDIOT!!! if u love her then try to talk to her start off slow then try to find out if she likes u, its not that hard to tell. i have the same issue im 15 and im madly in love with this 28 yr/o i think he has the same feelings he always stares at me and smiles and looks at me when im not looking(my friends tell me this) but i have seen him one time when i was looking from the corner of my eye, anyways he loves to talk to me and hes so sweet! i love his personality we have so much in common and i found out alot about him and his family. i dont know what happened one day he wasnt there and hes still not here(did i mention that he worked for us) but he wasnt fired becaue he wasnt done i even asked. im soo sad right now i miss him soo much, the thing i hate is the day he was here for the last time i guess it was raining but he was trying to give me his number but my dad walked up and i just stopped my dad was around the whole time they left. im so sad and mad and i dont knoww i miss him soo muchhh!!! so im telling you your going to regret not talking to her and getting to know her because one day she'll be gone and u'll be devastated like i am. age is just a number we are all humans go for itt!!!

By the way "rh" ur crazyy! um hes not being an idiot u r and he doesnt need therapy! i think i know y ur so stone cold i bet its because no guy has ever fallen in love with out lmaooo!!!! that makes sensee soo damm muchh! AGE IS JUST A NUMBER PPL!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010):

I'm 23 and my gf is 15. We have been together for almost 2 years now. I knew before I even saw her that I was going to marry her. I started off thinking it wasn't right and that it shouldn't be. But after a month of talking to her and becoming really close with her and finding out all these things about her. Its amazing how perfect we are for each other. Now, I am not saying your situation is the same as mine, because mine is very special. But I believe love knows no bounds and this kind of subject should be thought about VERY carefully. Do you know the risk you are taking. Are you ready to lose everything for her? Be careful. Don't do anything stupid.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010):

hi... im 15 years old and have been with my current boyfriend for over a month now. Hes 26 and im 15... yeah but the thing is no one knows were together, when i try to talk to my friends about age gaps they take the mick and say anuthing over 5 is just sick. No one understands me im totaly in love with this guy and he feels exactly the same.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

I say you should find out how she feels and go from there

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010):

hiya, im 14 and im in love with a 23 year old man. he loves me to, we can't help the way we feel. we plan to wait until i'm 18 to be together, and in the end it will be worth it. my whole world revolves around him, i can't describe how much he means to me. so yeah go for it with the girl, but talk to her first.. don't just jump right in there. and if its ment to be it will work out, trust me. my love is the best thing to have ever happened to me, so just be careful. good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009):

i'm 18 im in love with a 15 year old is she 2 youngh 4 me

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009):

I'm 23 and i can't stop dreaming and thinking of a beautiful girl who lives next door. She is 15, seem to be 13 and acts like a 10 year old. My friends told me that she wants to be my girlfriend but she shows the oposite, this is pathetic. If she only knew what I feel, if I only Knew...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, misschief United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2009):

hi im 14 and completely in love with a 24yr old. he is my everything and when he kisses me i feel like im going to explode. everyone always says its sick but when my mum had a go at me we ran away together even though we only went to my dads farm with my pony ;). i get fireworks everytime he looks at me and i love everything about him. there are no secrets and no lies now and every weekend i sleep at his house xxxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Hot_cat68 Malaysia +, writes (21 November 2009):

And I thought I was the only one.I'm fifteen and is in love with a 22 year old he loves me too.but,we didn't plan to be a couple because of complications with the age gap.so,we're just friends now and we plan to be together when I turn 18.I know it sounds stupid but it's worth it.a few more years and I can be with him and call him as my boyfriend instead of just a friend.it's hard fir both of us but we don't want our family and friends killing both of us becos of it.love is inevatible and age doesn't really matter.but if u really love this girl I'd say wait til she's 18.for now be her friend :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, CantHelpFallingInLoveWithHim Canada +, writes (19 June 2009):

"Age is nothin' but a number."

Thats what this 28 year old guy told me, I'm 14 and I'm in-love with him.

I say you should go and talk to her, dont make it too obviouse that you like this person. What I mean is, See if they like you too. But be careful. She is only 15 and if she doesnt like you then that could lead to a serious problem.

All I gotta say is GOOD LUCK! -Best of wishes

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009):

have you talked to her or only just seen her?? i think you should talk to her. im in love with a guy who is 29 and im 15!!! i love him sooo much!! i just wnt to see him more.. but i say go for it!! get to know her more and talk to her more!! i think its total potential for a good relationship!!!i wana know how it turns out!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008):

Hi! To day I am 58..Once I met a girl when I was 29 I picked her and her sister up.Both wanted to go with me and my friends.We was driving my car at the time.I did not dare to have sexual relation with them the first time. They called me later and asked if they could visit me.They had told their mother every thing.

Both of them came to my house and stayed over for the whole weekend.

They asked for vine and I thought for my self what!!!!!

Both of them where mature in spite of the age.

We stayed together for a year. My advise to you if she is mature and you and her really care for each other. Ps. Make sure you have something on your jr.lol.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Smexi-amii United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2008):

Do not let age get in the way!!

Last year i met my present boyfriend he was 22 and i was 15, we were both scared to let each other know how we felt because of the age gap but when i turned 16 (months after we met) he asked me out and we have been going out ever since and the age gap has now dissapered we never really think about it.

Do what your hearts telling you to do xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, melmsscr United States +, writes (30 April 2008):

im currentally 15 and im with a 22 year old && have been with him for a year and a half, if you really have strong feelings for this girl then go for her, it may be one of the best choices you'll ever make in your life. just be careful

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

hi i am a danielle i m 15 u shouldtell her how u feel but i would wait till she is a bit older.

gd luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Hi I think you should talk to this girl. I am a 14 year old and I'm in love with a 26 year old. When you really love her...You should really talk to her. You are definitely NOT an idiot. I think if she returns your feelings than you should wait until she is 18. I hope this works out for you! :)

Love a caring friend.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, karenina United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2008):

How dare some of you people call this guy an idiot. Who are you to judge whether it is love or infatuation, he knows his own heart and he knows he's in love so shut up. I'm sorry but i hate it when people say you can't be in love with this person she/he is too young, well age doesn't matter. They aren't having sex so it isnt illegal. If you have fallen madly in love witth this girl then my advice to you would be to tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way back you should not start dating until she is 18 years old, at least then she'll be an adult and you won't get the horrible comments about dating a child. And im sorry, for the person who told you that you should be ashamed of yourself, **** off because you have absolutely no right to say something like that. We are all human beings who all fall in love, we might not have wanted to fall in love with said person but sometimes there is nothing you can do. I know from personal experience. When i was 16 years old a close family friend, a 26 year old man told me he was in love with me.. some of you might find it sick or disturbed but we were truly in love. We never had sex once but new we were in love, and some people say they don't beleieve in love at first sight but we sure did, anyway my parents found out and his family found out and a few of his friends and we never saw eachother again.. we had also been dating in secret for about 3 years. He died and iv never truly forgiven my parents for not allowing me to see him. I still love him and will always love him. But anyway i just want you to know that if you love this 15 year old girl, the age gap isnt as much as what mine and his was, if ur worried about tht, so go for it and do not listen to the cold hearted people posting messages on this site about the fact that you should grow up and act ur age, because there is nothin wrong with the way u r feeling. And if u do get together with her promise me u will not let anyone break u two apart because the man i was in love with died and i never got to spend my life with him in the way i had always hoped i would.

Hope this helped

Anna

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):

I'm in a situation somewhat similar. I'm in love with a 15 year old, I'm 28. The worst part is that I'm dating her 23 year old sister. I've had feelings for the younger sister because believe it or not we have a lot in common. She likes my company because we can talk about anything and we have fun together. We have the same hobbies... I wish with all my heart that she was older. It feels like life is playing a cruel joke on me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

Hay I’m a 14-year-old stable girl, and I have a crush on a 34y/o farmer.

Go for it, if I was her I would go out with you (if I had a crush on you)

I hate the fact that people think that you have got to be round the same age.

Make her laugh or something, chat about horses.

Good Luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007):

Your not being an idiot.15 year olds are just like people your own age, the only difference is that there bodies are still growing up.I am 15, and have been attracted to lads of your age, lol, its natural. But some people only believe love is when two people of similar ages and have a lot in common. I belive you should get to know this young woman and see how you feel when you get to know her, if you can be yourself and enjoy her comapany and love everything about her, then if she feels the same way then you should give it a shot, you never know, you could die in her arms, old an wrinkly, lol, i have had relationships+ with older lads, n belive me, i havent regreted any of them. well, goodluck, n hope for the best, and if you do give it a shot, n she doesnt like you, dont be gutted, like you said, th efeelings could be mutual, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

thats ok as long as you dont have sex you will be guilty of an offence.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007):

oh my godd.... is this site american? because here in england, you're not even allowed to be engaged at the age of 15! im 15..from england as u might of guessed. the girl might be good looking but you dont know her at all by the sounds of things, and she might end up being a right cow anyway, just because she looks nice doesn't mean everything! your age gap is abit wrong too, you need to find someone your own age, shes still a kid and your an adult; which doesn't seem too good. i'd love a horse, alwayz wanted one, so just wanna say your so lucky to be able to live on a farm! lol. well..see u.. have a good life cuz im guessin ill never come across this website again anyway...so good luck with the whole thing, and remember it's not all just about looks. Vicki xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007):

i think it is wrong!! ur a man she is a child .. get someone your own age

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006):

Well honestly if you think that by asking a bunch of people who don't know you is going to help then think again. No matter what these people say the decision is still up to you. If this girl is that important then hint a little bit. Bbut like you said; you think the feeling is mutual. You should probably make sure that is it before you go ahead. This could end in a couple different ways. But it's up to you to decided which one. Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2005):

For everyone there is a soul mate. You are not being an idiot you are just expressing your feelings. I my-self am 14 and my fiance is 22 and we are happy together. Of course most people will think it is wrong at first, but if the people who think that really care about you, end they see how much you love her and how much she loves you, they will learn to accept it. That is what happened to me and y fiance and now everyone that we know accepts us. If you and her sit down and talk about it i am sure it will work out. Just follow your heart and you will do whats right for you and for her.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, pink_01 +, writes (15 June 2005):

i think yall should do what ya want, just keep it on the down low

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2005):

I'm 15 and also a stable girl. I'm in a relationship with a man of 28 and we are expecting a child!

I think you must think about what you really see in this girl! Did you know how old she was when you first met her? Do you even have full conversations or do you just find her attractive? You must realise that if you decide to have a relationship with this girl you must accept that your friends and family may abandon you as well as her family probably wanting to hunt you down!

Age gap is a very sensitive issue which I think you should tip toe round with extra precaution! Just be careful and always remind yourself of how old she is, whenever you see her!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, fran, writes (7 February 2005):

i wouldnt feel ashamed at all. i'm in a 14-year age gap with my husband and have been together 3 years. there is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone, but i will give you advice: don'.t do anything with her get to know her, make sure you let her know that nothing will become of you two before the age of 16!bif you like her she will be worth the wait.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, Starr, writes (5 February 2005):

You should be ashamed even with being anonimous and saying you are having these feelings for a chid. That is very sick and are you aware that you could go to prison for this if you act on your sick feelings.If this were your child or family member, would you be so understanding? Grow up, act your age and not your shoe size. How can you actually think that things will work out being in a relationship with a 15 year old? Let's be serious and take a clear look at reality.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, rh, writes (2 February 2005):

Yes, you are being an idiot. If you "love" this person you've never had a conversation with it's not "love" it's "infatuation" and when a 22 y/o man is "infatuated" with a 15 y/o girl he needs to seek professional help. If you have some kind of Lolita thing you need to go work it out in therapy or in fantasy sex/play with a willing partner of LEGAL AGE. Do not fuck up your life or hers by acting on your infatuation. Let her grow up without being taken by an adult who should know better. If she's attracted to you so what!! She's a teenager and will have all kinds of infatuations and crushes...sometimes on older men. You are the adult...or are supposed to be. So start acting like it. If you both are hot for each other three years from now then ask her out, have a conversation with her, and feel free to "fall-in-love." If, three years from now, you are still hot for fifteen year old girls then like I said before, seek therapy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0625!