A
male
age
36-40,
*agingraven
writes:His name is Gary and he is my favorite person and best friend. We were stationed together for a year and we were pretty much inseparable for a while there. We did everything together, and we went through a lot together. At first he was just a friend to me but as I began to understand his true self, I found I loved him. He has a beautiful soul and body. The things he has said to me are not typical things you hear from straight men, but thus far he hasnt openly made any sexual advances. I suppose it's best to assume he's straight, but open-minded and sensitive. I just constantly doubt myself because I tell myself that he is straight and nothing more than a best friend, then he goes and does something like tell me I'm one of the only people that understand him, followed by a big long hug. WTF, over?!He and I went through a really tough time. He was supposedly sexually assaulted by another guy in our unit when he passed out after drinking, and we were both tied in a long a ugly court case, as I lived with him at the time. We had to testify against the supposed assailant, yet The entire time people that work in the admin office are telling me that one of his original statements on paper said that it was consensual, and he just wanted to spite the other guy because he was embarassed. Thus adding to the constant doubt!He has exposed his heart to me in so many ways, sharing things and feelings he doesnt tell anyone else, and I love him all the more for it. But I think maybe my relationship with him is just a fantasy. Is it all in my head?I dropped him off at the airport hotel 7 months ago, to send him on his way to his new base in Nevada. He told me I could stay the night or as long as I wanted. I left to continue my drive up here to D.C (I'm stationed here). Low and behold, I find out that as soon as I finish this training, I have orders to Gary's base in Nevada. He's excited, but I'm afraid that if I am right, and it's all a fantasy in my mind, every moment he's with me (which is most of the time) is going to be torture. To have him so close. Close enough to smell his skin, to touch him. I dont want to go crazy waiting for a kiss that may never come to exist. I don't wanna turn into an Evanescence song here! :PThoughts please.
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male
reader, athiestbutstillcares +, writes (8 June 2009):
It sounds like he is gay but has not "come out of the closet" Give him more time and try to introduce him with female friends if none of them take he may tell you he is gay. Then introduce him to males and see if any of them happen. If not that means he has himself a little crush on somebodyhintidy hint hint
A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (8 June 2009):
Does he know you are gay? If he doesn't he could be thinking all the things you are like is he straight? So for starters should say that you are gay and see what he says.
If he does already know you're gay then you might just have to tell him how you feel, at least to some degree and see what his response is. I realise you don't want to ruin a great friendship but it sounds like you couldn't deal with not knowing so really what choice do you have?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Hey :)
You are so adorable... You should let him know how you feel it sounds like he has more feelings for you than just a friend. Straight guys arent usually like that. You should just tell him but dont do it in a way that he may feel pressured and dont make any sexual advances whatever you do... make sure he is the one to initiate everything.
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