A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just got out of a 18 month relationship and feel like shit. I was cheated on for 3 months by my 'girl', and we ended it, but for some reason its been about a month and I still have feelings for her. What do I do to get her out of my mind and stop feeling as lonely as I do? I let myself get into this groove with her, and then all of a sudden it ended. I'm not trying to talk to her or trying to get back into a relationship with her because I can never trust her again, but I can't shake my feelings for her. This was my first real relationship, one where I really loved somone, and to find out that somone you truly care for and believe truly cares for you, is lieing and falling in love with somone else, is shattering.Regardless, I am alone now, womanless. I'm not the type of person that randomly 'hooks up' with people, so the friends i've told are all out of options, (thanks guys). I try and fill my days with activities, soccer, politics, homework, anything, but its the times inbetween, walking to and from class, sitting at home watching TV, even right now when i'm typing this that I long for that company she gave me, the friend I thought I could really confide in, the person who I believed loved me for who I was.So now I really want to meet somone, and get that feeling back, but it's hard. It's hard to meet other women and be as open as I was. I'm scared, hurt, and worried that I won't ever be back to the way I was. What the hell do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reassurance, I know it will take a long time to get over this but I can't get her out of my mind. It's nice to know that people actually care about how I am feeling enough to respond, thanks. The point the latest poster made about never going back to the same is a better way of looking at the situation I suppose.
Here's to hoping that 'better relationship' comes along soon heh
A
male
reader, the one who doesn't know  +, writes (8 November 2008):
 my friend, there's a time when you find that life isn't always nice and flowers. it's rough, hard, cruel, merciless, and likes to play with us, because like you doesn't have anything better to do. now, now you 'll, eventually forget her. probaby will find another great better person, who respects you and finds the beauty, where you find the monster. but be sure of one thing. you'll never be the same. let me repeat that, you'll NEVER be the same. 'cause you'll have found out that love is the most powerful force of nature. and you'll have matured, and will get into a better relationship. do not worry, and do not hurry. only time will tell you you're story
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): You're doing all the right things. Reaching out to your friends and keeping occupied. And you know that you can't trust her and haven't weakened or gone back to something destructive. Well done.
It hurts now but a month is only a short time. Give yourself credit for having come through the worst. It will get better and you will be happy again. You are well out of it.
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