A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My trust issues are getting the way of my marriage. I'm 22 my wife is 28, she also has a 3 year old from another man.We got married after only a few months of knowing each other. When we met, she was in the biggest hurry to get married: She wanted to leave me when I told her we should wait, I always thought people we're supposed to do that. She said she wanted to get married because she was almost 30, she said she "needed" to get married to strengthen her case against the biological father whom she doesnt want in her life. He is a dirtbag anyways and ditched her while she was pregnant and just now all of a sudden decided to be father. But I really wanted to be with her so we got married but I've always had this feeling deep down that maybe shes not all she seems because I'm not even sure if she really loves me. Am I just being paranoid? I kind of regret marrying her because since I feel this I push her away and don't open up to her. Is this a normal reaction? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): You are welcome anytime; please do avoid pregnancy at this stage.
Keep us posted.
You are welcome to contact me by private message should you want to ask any more questions or if I could be of any assistance.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much supershawna and smiles for your help. i'm new to this and didnt know how it would work out. I just wasnt sure if I was the only one that thought what i thought, I will get some professional help and see where that takes me:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Thanks for the feedback; I understand your feelings and confusion much better now;
I don't think you are not mature enough to understand; I have empathy with you; I think you are very confused and have probably bitten of more then what you should when you got married; you are in a very vulnerable situation right now;
I suggest you seek profesional counselling and work through your feelings; then once you know what you want and how you feel you need to have a good heart to heart talk with your wife; irrelavant of which direction the future might go.
I also suggest you make sure she DOES NOT FALL PREGNANT with your child at this stage; not untill you have clearity about your feelings and the future of this marriage; use protection no matter if she is on the pill or not; if she is trying to use you; a pregnancy or baby will be (in her eyes) a ticket to her "security".
Please get profesional help; I am sure that via the military you can have it arranged;
I am here to try and give advice and assistance, but I suggest you get somebody on a personal level to help you through this;
My thoughts are with you; best wishes and lots of SMILES
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes sorry I didn't want to put too much for an initial question. She doesn't really give me any real reason not to trust her.She tells me she loves me all the time. She cooks for me when I don't even ask her to, shes always doing stuff for me. Looking out for me. But i'm always thinking of the stuff she said when we first met. It kinda makes me feel used. I'm in the military, and she already knew about the life insurance money we get and demanded it all go to her. I don't know. I honestly am not sure what love is supposed to be, I would assume it's something that grows overtime. I don't just think of her as some woman. Shes valuable to me and I know shes a good person. I just feel kinda lost. I'm I not mature enough yet to understand or something?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): You are not sure if she loves you? Okay I understand, BUT even more important do you love her?
You regret getting married; that almost answers the question BUT what happened to change your mind? Or let me ask; WHy did you get married to her? Purely because you were scared of losing her?
You give very little info to work from or with; I am afraid to be objective and to give you a good perspective or good assistance and advice I will need more info; something changed somewhere and I am not sure; what happened that you are not telling us or what is the missing link here?
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (9 August 2008):
 have you spoken this openly with her? i think you need to get it all off of your chest and take it from there.
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