A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is quite confusing, right. I have been pacing around the house all day driving myself mad, going over and over this situation in my head a million times, I swear i'm driving myself crazy analysing every last detail, so I finally stopped, sat down with a glass of wine and decided to ask for all your help.Okay, I have liked this amazing guy for over a year now, he knew I liked him but didn't quite know the depth of it. Throughout the year we sort of had little one night flings, but I finally plucked up the courage to ask exactly what he wanted and he said that commitment was not what he was looking for just yet. But i'm confused because he is an extremely good looking guy and has his pick of any girl he wants I mean they literally throw themselves at him.So why does he keep coming back to me?I'm in love with him but if I wait around for him he might decide it's not me he wants. I don't know what to do but i'm going crazy here guys!Please help!Thankyou xx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, texangirl  +, writes (3 January 2009):
Gosh, if I only knew the answer. I can only give you a little advice. first, are you willing to wait? Wait may mean alot of things. Seeing him with other women, dating, going back and forth as you have, getting into such frustration you quit speaking then you miss him and go back to the way it was before and the cycle starts again. So, this could go on a LOOOOONG time. And in the end you're right it could not be in your favor in the end. My advice (which I wish I had taken long ago) is to move on and stay aquaintences. Let him know you still care but you don't want to waste time focused on him when you could try to find someone who does want the same things. again, I am in the same boat. Just read my story and you'll see. getting over someone you have love for is difficult. It sucks and there will be many sad days ahead. Moving onto another guy is not the answer at least in my opinion. What is worth the time is figuring out exactly what sets this guy apart from ANY other guy and what qualities you want in someone that perhaps he doesn't have. Cry, shop, turn your phone off, walk around in a daze, obsess and allow yourself to starve or eat too much and then wipe yourself off and begin to rebuild yourself. it may take a while or not long at all. also, think about if the goodies you get whne you're together are worth the pain of not having him long term. I have found that for me i am beginning to feel worse after seeing him than better. that's a good sign for me it may be time to move on. But have loved him in one way or another for so mnay years it has become quite complicated. trust me you don't want that. Good luck, Girl!
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