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anonymous
writes: I have just spent eleven years raising my children and want to do something for myself. So I started a degree course, my husband minded but because it meant fewer argument. He allowed me to do this course, the only problem is that he expected me to do the housework as well as wash & clean the children before handing them over to him each Thursday that I attended college. Now ever time i want the children to do things for me around the house he is displease with it. He thinks that I should be doing all of the housework because he is the breadwinner in the house. One of the reason I started this course is because I became lonely in this marriage and things have not improved enough to want to share any time with him. I love spending time with the children and we have fewer argument when my husband is not around. Every weekend he tells me what to do with the children like I don't know how I should be with them at all. I've looked after the children for eleven years now if I was not sure it was going to last I would never have had any children at all. I did leave his a four times when he refuse to do anything around the house and I was the only one getting the stress from the children and him every night for weeks. He always made me feel like I was being unreasonable asking him to do his fair share of housework now that children have reach the ages of 4,7,10 yrs. Everything is such a hardship that I'm wondering what I should be doing in order not to appear as selfish as he believe I am in asking for more help. For the last two years he & the children have left the house each weekend with piles of housework for me. I use to get very stressed by it so I started treating him the same. Only thing is he does not like it and complain every time it happens by for years he never notice what work I have be doing until he had to do all of it himself. Now it alway I want to spend more time with the children and you have got them for more time than me. I hate that. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2005): STAY YOUR COURSE!!!!....the college course that is....From the sounds of it this man is not going to be there after the kids are gone..At 4. 7. and 10 these kids NEED you to teach them how to care for themselves, thier belongs and how to mange on thier own...They will be cripples out on thier own if you dont....and bringing thier laundry home for Mom to do...Hubby is acting like an illtempered 3 year old...He wants to be the boss and have you jump to his every beck and call, because you are MOMMMY...even to him...Stop mothering him, take care of your kids and get on with it ...You are not getting through to Mr.Wonderful and you cannot make decisions for him...so make yours accordingly.
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