A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:One of my best friends is a lesbian, however, lately she has been sending me mixed signals. We've both been out of a relationship for a long time and have been spending more and more time together as of late. We talk online or on the phone almost everyday now. Over the last couple of months she has been more physical around me as well. Putting her head on my shoulder or lap when we're on the couch watching a movie. Sitting on my side of the booth at restaurants. Walking very close to me. I never reciprocate other than a hug. She has also been talking about her curiosity and desire for men more lately as well. I'm not sure if I should interpret this as her simply getting more comfortable with me or trying to provoke me into making some kind of move. I've never been one to make the 1st move. I'm mainly wondering if I should ever ask her about it because I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I'm tired of being confused as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the suggestions everyone. I will try to work up the courage to talk to her. I'm usually not good at being up front about things like this. She does have quite a few guy friends, but I don't know how she acts around them. That has been one thing I've been wondering, but she has been around me alot more recently and always seems extra excited when we plan something and not so when she's going out with them. I also often wonder if she even realizes what she is doing. She may have no idea. I'm afraid she has gotten comfortable around me because I'm not making advances towards here. All I know for sure is that I've lost alot of sleep over it lately. I hope to get to the bottom of it so we can move on.
A
female
reader, emily79  +, writes (20 March 2008):
I wouldn't ask directly - I would test out by asking if she has ever wanted a relationship with a man before. her response will be telling because if she is interested that is her chance to tell you!
I am bisexual myself, and I don't believe that any woman is 100% gay or 100% straight. I think its on a sliding scale. For instance some gay women might like to kiss and be intimate with a man but not go the whole way because sexually they prefer being with a woman. And the same is true for some straight people having minor feelings towards the same sex but not wanting the whole thing.
It could be that she's discovering she might like men and women equally. So go for it, good luck and let me know how you get on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): This used to be a fantasy of mine - doing a conversion job!
Like Mandy says - talk to the woman. Just ask her if she's ever wondered what it would be like with a man. If yes, ask her if she finds you sexually attractive. If no, just carry on as before.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): So she's being extra physical to you and she says she is thinking about males?
Either one of those things, taken separately, would probably not be meant to send you a message. But both of them together being pointed towards the same guy . . . well, that might be a message to you.
Does she have any other male friends that she feels anywhere near as close to, like she feels to you? If she does, then try to think about whether these things would be abnormal for her to be saying/doing with them.
Either she's doing this because she's getting interested in you, or she's doing this because she's SO completely off that level with you that she doesn't even think about the implications of these things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Mabe she does want to test the waters with a man, And you would be perfect being her friend..If you are really close and you did say you were tired of being confussed, Then just talk to her hunny and find out whats going on in her mind. You will have to tell her if she says she has been having thoughts like that about you that your friendship is very important to you and you dont want to loose it sweetheart, But the only way your going to pop your mind at rest is by sitting down and talking I hope this helped a little TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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