A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So. I need some advice.I've been seeing this person for 6 months now. When we started hanging out- as friends- i was acting like myself. I was outgoing and extroverted and we were always talking, I actually dominated most of the conversation. But recently, I've noticed that i have nothing to say to him. and I feel completely boring. When I ask him, he tells me that I'm not boring, but i know he thinks i am. It's terrible...I choke up on words, i find myself stumbling over thoughts.He makes me so nervous...i've been thinking that it's because i'm unsure how he feels about me...but now i'm starting to think it's because we actually don't work...i feel like he's going to criticize everything i'm going to say. I just want him to like me i guess...and i'm not a boring person...we've both been under a lot of stress at our jobs, but...what do i do?do we have a chance? how do i break my shell? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 The thing is, according to you, you had already broken the shell. Look for other explanations... has he been criticizing what you say or do? Do you think he disapproves of you or your behavior? Do you feel rejected and if so why? Has this happened before in other relationships? Why are you unsure of what he feels? Do you believe you stand a chance? Do you really like being with him?
The point is I would compare this relationship to other you might have to establish any patterns on your side and analyze what has changed over these 6 months. The truth is that after the beginning and/or "honeymoon" of a relationship, things tend to slow down as the pressure of "selling" yourself diminishes. Now, from that natural settling down to a routine to being bored there is a long way. Hope this helps. Good luck!
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