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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 21 years old, and I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now who is 38.The thing is that he has 4 kids between 8-15. He is my stepdad's ex-brother in law. His kids know my parents as aunt and uncle. I absolutely ADORE them , and they all feel the same about me.His wife had been sick with a brain tumour for a year, and she passed away early this year. Although, she was in a coma for a month before that. He keeps saying that it has been over a year since he was really with someone because for the most part of it, she was never home, she was at the hospital, or she didn't know who he was or who the kids were.My question is: Is this weird? Should I continue to see him? We haven't been intimate in any way, just cuddling, kissing, hugging..but no sex. Do I stay with him, or do I break it off.I haven't told me parents about us yet. I don't think they would approve, but then I am also an adult and able to make my own decisions about my life. I am really confused about what to do. I think that my parents would be REALLY upset if they knew.Please give me your advice on what I should do. I love him so much and his kids, when I think about leaving him, I feel sick. I have NEVER felt this way with any other guy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2006): Something sounds wary when u mentioned how he said "it's been over a year." Obviously it must of stuck in your head for a reason because u put it on here. I'm sure your parents won't approve because of the age difference and the kids, but is there another reason? Be careful he's not using u for JUST comfort from a nice young girl if you know what I mean.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): If he means that much to you then you should definitely go for it. If your family don't approve...well who are they to stand in the way of these feelings? However be aware that this guy may have issues with the relationship, so take things slowly, and enjoy what you guys have!
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A
male
reader, DanTheMan +, writes (22 February 2006):
Yes, you should go see him, even that he lost his wife. And be with him, so he can be happy with you.
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (22 February 2006):
 It won't be just your parents that will react badly, it will be hard for your whole family, and everyone you encounter that finds out about the relationship.
The only way to proceed is to be completely honest with your parents, and your entire family. If you can't handle that conflict then you do not have what it takes to make this relationship work.
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