A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need help with something but as I'm writing this I feel very confused and disappointed. Hopefully I can explain myself good.I'm currently going out with this guy and I know I am in love with him. Well, not sure if its called going out, we only have sex at work. I think he's cheating on me with this other girl that also works here. I'll tell you why....Today he came in later then usual (to work) at 10am, he was IMing me from home(so he said) at 10:15, he leaves about 30 minutes from here. Well he got here at 10:30am.The girl that I think he's cheating with came in at 11am. She's always on time (8am) I am sooo pissed off right now, Im hoping im clear. Anyway I need to decide if i should confront him about it. Just the other day, he told me and sweared that he has absolutely nothing with her. She also goes out with his friend, they have sex, I know this for a fact.So, I know I have no serious relationship with this guy but I love him and it bothers me a lot. Should I cconfront him or her about it???? Right now I'm feeling positively sure that they did it this morning. Hopefully you can help me before I go something that I will regret. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): As far as i can tell, you two aren't in a relationship so he isn't cheating on you. If you want to realtionship with this guy then you should discuss that with him. Who knows, he could have slept with that girl before he got with you? Sorry, but you need to get your head out the clouds and open your eyes to the fact he can sleep with whoever he likes because he is SINGLE. Just because you two are having sex that doesn't make it a relationship, maybe to you it does seem that way but if that guy is sleeping with other girls then he obviously doesn't see you two as anything more than a bit of fun. He's a guy and guys like sex, which you are providing him and to be honest he probably doesn't see it as anything more than that. If you wanted a relationship with this guy maybe you should have waited before sleeping with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): You can do both. Ask him about her and ask him about yalls future. That's what I would do. If you found out he had sex with her would you still want to be with him? If so maybe there is a little insecurity on your part!
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A
male
reader, http:// +, writes (20 August 2010):
I don't think you should confront 'the man you love' for the simple fact that you two aren't in a relationship at all. There's no reason to handcuff him because he is as single as a dollar bill. Why treat him as if you two are in a relationship? As long as he is single, he can fulfill his sexual desires with any other woman he wants.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Well if you feel strongly towards him, def admit it to him and see if its mutual. You can live thinkg "what if". I would ask. Then if you find out he is lying, have sex with another guy there at work to piss him off! Ha jk. Don't do that. Just confront him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Well if you're only having sex with this guy and not in a relationship then i'm sorry to say he's probably seeing other girls anyway. If you were in a relationship obviously you'd been right to be angry but it sounds like you're just f*** buddys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso what should I do? I want to do the smart thing and I would like to continue with him. These are some of the things that I'm thinking of but add yours please please.
Do nothing?
Confront him to ask if he was with her this morning?
Confront him by saying that if he's ever going to spend more time with me or we will have to end it...
I really don't know what to do, but it bothers me a lot and I only wished I would continue with him. When I tell him to leave me a lone, he starts getting mad and insists that I don't
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