A
female
age
36-40,
*isssassy
writes:ok i have done something horrible. my best mate has been so obsessed with this bloke for about 3 years and they were seeing each ither a few years back bt nothing had ever happend until last year when he invited her out for a drink and then they sleapt together aswel not on the same night. and then they stopped talking to each other and not even looking at each other. then me and him started getting along in a friendly way nothing else. then last week we sleapt together and i felt bad so i had to tell my mate and she was fine with it. but i really like him i know he still cares for her and that i was a one off but i have liked him for about 4 months and i really am confused anyone got any help? please
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): You know .... used to have a couple of girlfriends that would quickly call 'dibs' on men that they liked. And would persue some of them sometimes with no result , sometimes with a one night stand that would not go anywhere as in your friend's situation . When I look back now I realize that they were not actually ever in a relationship with any of those guys they had quickly placed 'dibbs on'. I on the other hand never did stake claim on someone like that but I did respect my friends and never dated any of those guys. Over the years there were 3 of those men that I actually became friends with and who made overtures which I didn't accept being loyal to my friends. I on the other hand dated a lot of selfish guys and unfortunately married one of them. I was very surprised when years later I had the opportunity to speak to all 3 of those men at various events and they all gave me a hug and said they had secretly wanted to date me or had liked me so much and wanted me to know that . Also 2 of them asked me point out why I was so friendly and yet distant with them when they made overtures . What a silly answer .... BECAUSE MY FRIEND SO and SO liked you! I got 2 INCREDULOLOUS replies ...But I liked you!! LOL .... I'm sharing this long story because .... when I read yours.... my first response was ....Are you sure he likes HER? Best of Luck oh....btw both girlfriends ended up with nice men NEITHTER of which they had claimed DIBBS on when we hung out!!! If you like him .... he may like you too! And I say go for it.... Also if it looks like something might come of it ...talk to your girlfriend early on .... even if she did or does like him a little after so much time she has probably recognized that he isn't in to her or they are better friends than romantic partners. I say keep it all open and you will probably discover that your girlfriend is okay with it if your honest with her from the start and .... that this guy might like her but be interested in you !
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