A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can I just ask - how many of you out there are TRUELY happy in your lives? Life is such a balancing act. One area of your life starts going really well, but the others start failing, or you have to compromise things you want to have something you need more!I'm in my late 20's and have spent YEARS agonising over what I should do for a career. Sometimes I feel like everything I have in my life is definitely enough and I should just relax and enjoy it.. other times, I feel wracked with GUILT because I feel I'm selling myself short (careerwise) and should be aiming higher.I work in an office environment and have ALWAYS HATED office work. Outside of work, I LOVE my life. I love my boyfriend to death.. and I treasure everything we do together. We've been together for almost a decade and still, when I'm with him, it's like one of those movies about those made-for-each-other couples. We're always laughing and having so much fun. We both share a love of the simple things in life i.e. tramping, swimming, long bike rides on the seafront.. we both cherish nature and the environment etc. When I'm with him, I feel like I've found home.. and I couldn't imagine being happier. No one knows me like he does.. not even close.It's not a fairy tale of course.. we fight.. all the TIME.. sometimes his fault, sometimes mine.. but we always work things out. I like to think we have a really healthy relationship.. neither of us compromise our own opinion.. we challenge each other constantly.Anyway, my dream in life is to run my own business, but I can't really.. because my other dreams (i.e. having a house with my boyfriend) won't become a reality if I choose to do something where I don't have job security or a stable income. Instead, I slave away in a deadend office job that pays well, but that I absolutely hate.. that nearly bores me to death! Another option is that I have a qualification in a go-ahead industry, but to get anywhere, you're required to work 10 hour days.. night shifts and weekends.. and I don't want to give up the life with my boyfriend that makes me so happy. To me, that is the most important thing in my life.. the things we do together.. that to me is LIVING. I love nothing more than hitting the beach with him straight after work when I knock off at 5pm! Does anyone else ever feel confursed about their life's priorities? What's most important to you in life? Is it possible to have the best of all worlds?I feel guilty that I'm settling for a half-assed job when I could really be putting more work in.. but my mind continuously changes about what I'd like to do or study.. my head's always swirling in circles when it comes to this one area of my life.. my career. I guess people define you by what you do for a living.. so I keep beating up on myself that I'm not doing good enough.. that I should be pushing myself harder.Last year, I studied and achieved honors on my course. I worked night and day but missed the time with my boyfriend so much. I felt what I would describe as HOMESICK! We spent the year basically apart.. and I had no time to do any of the things that I truely love to do. I purposely took this deadbeat job to be able to have time to enjoy the things I LIVE for.I am one of those screwed up people that, once I'm on one side of the fence.. I'm wondering about the grass on the other!! It's so exhausting.I would love to hear your thoughts about what I've written. Do any of you face the same confusions about life? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Thanks so much ToHereKnowsWhen. You sound like a kindred spirit hehe. I just need to know that my inner confusion and constant indecisiveness are normal. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. You're right.. I don't judge you for having jumped from different jobs.. moreso.. it makes me realise you're obviously very in touch with who you are and how you feel. I guess most people waste years in a career they hate because they don't want to acknowledge the fact it's not right for them and therefore will need to make a change.
You've given me a different perspective on things. Thanks :)
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen +, writes (7 January 2011):
 You're not a screwed up person. Actually, you seem quite normal. You have a lot of choices in life and that is a great place to be.I like the life I have, yes it is about me doing a balancing act but over time I have learned that I can usually change the way I see/perceive things and then they often don't look so grim. I generally get out of life the same as I put into it, but then again sometimes I have hit just plain bad 'luck'. That's ok, because I get my share of good 'luck' too.Sounds like you have a great relationship with your boyfriend and you both work at it. Well done.I think it is a cultural thing that people define you by your occupation (very much so in Australia). Not everybody is like that. Personally, I couldn't care less. I tried that one and went all out to impress, but underneath it all still felt like a failure. You are best defined by yourself and YOUR vision of success.I'm always in turmoil about my career. Like you I am never satisfied. But I don't feel bad about that because I think it helps to drive me higher and higher. I have changed my direction several times, so I know it is possible to move on. I am beginning to think that I will never be truly settled in that respect. Who knows?I have also often thought about going it alone and work for myself, but that scares me because although I think I could handle the work pressures involved (I certainly have done this working for others), but I don't know how well I could balance this with my family and I do know many relationships that have ended because of immense worries about getting work done and financial matters, etc... It can get crazy out there.I am not sure about having everything, but it IS possible to have the best of both worlds. You need to work at that balance. If you think your job is "half-assed" then it is time to look closer at your other opportunities. If you don't like your job you won't do your self justice and you won't be doing your employer any favours either.All the best.
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