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I need motivation, and he just doesn't seem enough.

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Question - (6 October 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 October 2009)
A female South Africa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well here goes.... I'm a bit confused... When i was about 6 years younger i want a good life, a life were i could look after myself and be me, be rich before 20 and know what i want. Then things changed, i met a guy that messed me around, i then was dumped and then went out with someone else and he too just used me. I then fall head over hills for a collegue of mine's brother which is 12 years older then me, i was so lost in loved. I cant even remember when we started dating, it all just happen so fast. Now i'm almost 20 and i still have not made any of my dreams come true, it feels as if all i care about is being a relationship, and i dont want that! I want to make it big, i guess i'm just not motivated enough. I know ben trys hard to motivate me he really does, he has his own life to live though and his really busy with his own business. I truely love him very much, but want the best for myself....how do i motive myself and motive our relationship with out messing up big?

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A male reader, charlie p United Kingdom +, writes (6 October 2009):

New Zealand looks like a nice place, and I love the Lord of the Rings, but wouldn't somewhere a bit more heavily polulated give you more chance of 'making it big'?

London's good. New York? Even a city in South Africa?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Maybe i'm being misunderstood, ben the guy that is having a look at my business plan is the guy i'm seeing at present. The screw up was my ex, not ben. I know rejection is going to come and go, and maybe i just want someone to talk, someone that will listen, and maybe just, i hear you. My business will work, i know it will, and once i actually get things right and make enough money i'm planning on buying a cafe, a coffee shop or a something like that in new zealand..

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A male reader, charlie p United Kingdom +, writes (6 October 2009):

I see. Well, your ex is clearly busy with his own buisness, he'll look at it eventually!

In the mean time, start your buisness. Get the stock in and sell it, or whatever your buisness needs. Another option is to get a job in the area your buisness is in, so you can spend a few years learning about it in an established firm? It's not a waste of time to do that, and it may well be a good confidence boost.

With the confidence thing, you know you're not useless but it seems that you still feel like you are. Maybe get some counciling, a professional will be able to tell you more than I will.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I really want my own business, i done everything i need to do, like register a business, get a tax number, and then a business plan, which ben asked for, i mailed it like 3 weeks ago but he has not even looked at it, he was business last week with a new client he got, and the week before he was busy with upgrade a contract for france. We have been out in the last two weeks about 3 times, he calls every night. I think so, they broke my spirit down and always would say how useless i am, and all those negative things. I know for a fact i'm anything but useless, but its damaged me...

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A male reader, charlie p United Kingdom +, writes (6 October 2009):

It's often a shock when fantasy and reality colide. But don't give up! I know I'm not much older but 20 is very very young indeed.

Make it big in what sense/field? Is there a specific career you want? One way is to not aim for the job you want, but get onto the career ladder so you can climb it to find your dream job.

What broke your confidence? Was it your ex s?

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