A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a year and a half. We both think the world of each other and spend all of our spare time together. We have always argued, but recently its become out of control. I am her first sexual partner and she is not mine and she is curious to see what is beyond this relationship, but we both dont want our relationship to end. We can be extremely over-protective of each other, which is often the source of our arguments. I know that she is the one for me, i love her more than anything in the world. But i want her to be sure that i am the one for her. What do you suggest we do? we really dont want to end it but if we continue i'm sure it'll lead to further unhappiness on both our parts. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and look at the situation.
You say that it will definately cause more unhappiness if things dont change, and that you are not happy with the way things are, but only you two can change it.
Being overprotective can be a real problem. It makes one feel cornered and makes them feel as if they are being suffocated.
If she is interested in seeing what else is beyond your relationship, it sounds to me as though she has some doubts about being together. She may love you and think the world of you and vice versa, but is she "in love" with you? You need to find out. Ask her!
If she is in love with you, then you need to ascertain why she finds its necessary to wonder about what is beyond the relationship, if what she currently has isnt good enough, and if not, what does she want?
If she isnt in love with you, then its perhaps time to break it off and go your seperate ways.
Its probably not the answer you are looking for, but her staying with you and not being in love, is harder than being apart and not.
Remember, honesty and openess is the best policy in any relationship. Ask her what she wants and you both need to deal with the overprotectiveness, its not healthy. I know you want the best for each other, but I am sure that you are both capable of fighting your own battles and do not need the other to do it for them.
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