A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 year old male with a crossdressing fetish. I have been interested in crossdressing since childhood, and as i hit puberty, it became much more of a sexual thing. I don't get to enjoy this fetish of mine very often however, due to the fact that I have to keep it hidden from everyone in my life. this is especially hard now since I am in a serious relationship with a girl who I care for very much. But i will have an opportunity to dress without worry in few months since I will be going on a trip to canada for the next three months. My biggest fear is this: Whenever I am dressed as a female, I often fantasize about having sex with a man. I am generally not attracted to men, but am attracted to the penis only. I would never date a guy or be in a relationship with one, and I love having sex with women more than anything. It's just the idea of giving a guy head or taking on a more submissive role really turns me on. I feel like while I have the chance I should experiment, but I know this would be cheating and I could never tell her. But if I dont I may just have these feelings for the rest of my life, and i'm not married or anything. Can I justifiably experiment with another man while in a serious longterm relationship while I am young and not as seriously committed, or do I have to just ignore my bicurious impulses and remain faithful? I am very confused, and would appreciate any opinions! I've also had this fantasy for a very long time, and I feel like I need to see what it's like in reality. I just dont want to ruin my relationship or end up regretting it. HElp! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I stumbled upon your question from last year. What has come of this? My fiancé has expressed the same desire. He wants me to paticipate, with another couple. I do not want to and he resents me for it. He says he only lives once, and I should not deny him of something so important to him. I don't want him to do this alone either. Even if I knew I would still consider it cheating. I guess I just want to know how you feel. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want any other people in our sex life. Please help!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): I understand where you are coming from. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He has said he wonders what it would be like also to give head or maybe go a bit further. He doesn't ever want to be with a guy, but the thought is there. He isn't gay and loves me but what you could do is try and talk to your girlfriend. You can maybe experiment together. You don't have to be with a guy to have the experience of being with one or to experiment. Use a dildo and make her a part of it. I know it's weird but, if you love her and you don't want your relationship to end, its just another option, and if she is understanding, it could really bring you guys closer with your sex life. I was very understanding of what my boyfriend had to say when he told me. The only difference was after he told me he didn't have the urge to do any of it. Getting off his chest was enough.But good luck to you. Hope I was of some help.
...............................
A
female
reader, Rae1031 +, writes (31 January 2009):
You do not and should not have to hide the way you are feeling, not even to save your ralationship with her because several things could come of this. If you cheat on her with a guy, without telling her (and I am assuming that you would at lest be considerit enough for all involved to protect yourself), you might just find that this is not just a one time fantacy. You say that you would never be with a guy, but right now, you have nothing to compare it too. You also say that you have deep feelings for your girlfriend which is plusable if you have been with her intamitly, but if you are thinking about cheating and your biggest fear is that you may loose her, it does not sound as if you are very worried about how hurt this would leave her feeling if she did find out. If your only fear in getting caught is that you might lose something that matters to you and be left all alone, then your feelings for her don't run as deep as you think. There is no differance between cheating with a guy or a girl, it is still a betrayl and nobody deserves that. If you want to hold on to her while you go out and experiment, it means that you are not sure if you will like this lifestyle or not. Just in case you will hold on to her, if you like it then you will heartlessly cut her loose and use "I can't deny who I really am" to try to justify it to yourself and make yourself feel better about making her wait on the sideline without giving her any knowledge and then cutting her loose without any warning. Or, perhaps you will find that this is not for you, well at least you still got your good old dependable doormat to step on when you return home. You know that this is not fair. If you deny your feelings all together you are not being true or fair to yourself and even though it is not her fault because she does not even know, you will still one day resent her for it. You have a right to choose to explore your feelings, this is probably something that you need to do before you can have a happy normal relationship with anybody. But she is a human being with rights too. She has the right to know that you choose to be with others so that she can have the information she needs to make her own sound choices. It is not the only way, but it is the only right way. Think about it before you act, think about how it would make you feel. Do the right thing.
...............................
|
