A
female
age
30-35,
*udrey millicent
writes:i always gets scared anytime my boyfriend wants to kiss or have sex with me what do i do please help me he wants to break up with me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 All the answers below give some pretty good advise if the problem is simply that your not ready or scared of the consequences. Pregnancy, pain, STD's or loss of reputation.
But there is another possibility that you might want to consider. Is it at all possible that you were ever molested as a child? You may have been so young you don't remember it. I think you should tell your mom that you get scared and freeze up when your boyfriend even tries to kiss you and see if she knows anything that could have happened to make you feel this way. Even if she doesn't you need to have this conversation with her in case you need to see a therapist to get to the bottom of your fears and overcome them.
A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (11 March 2011):
 You shouldn't have these feelings. You are young, have a full life ahead of you, if he is pressuring you to do something you dont like dont give in, kick that boy to the curb.
I know you say that you love him, but if its true love do you really think you would be having these feelings? Take a long hard look at your relation ship. have these things been going on for a while? Does he do it often?
If he truly loves you and respects you enough he'll quit when you ask him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): Talk to him about it
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A
female
reader, audrey millicent +, writes (11 March 2011):
audrey millicent is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your supportive answers i'll try my best do what you say. THANKS.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): You should not feel under pressure to do anything. You are very young, and if you are not ready, you must tell him. Trust your instincts, if it doesn't feel the right thing to do, then don't do it.
Speak to your boyfriend, and if he really cares for you, he will understand and wait until you do feel ready. If he is not prepared to wait, don't be afraid of losing him ... If he's ready to leave you because you won't have sex, then perhaps he's not such a nice boy. There will be many boys who will appreciate and respect you for being the person you are.
There are so many implications of embarking on a physical relationship, for example:
- what type of contraception will you use to ensure you don't get pregnant?
- will your boyfriend be willing to wear a condom to protect you both against sexually transmitted diseases?
It's a good thing to be cautious. Do you have a close female friend or an older sister with whom you can discuss your fears?
If you don't feel ready, don't do it, and don't be bullied or blackmailed by your boyfriend. But, you never know, he may just be prepared to wait for you, if you let him know how you feel.
Keep strong!
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