A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have known this guy for over a year. We previously had dated and had an absolutely fantastic long distance relationship in which we did get to see each other, why did it end? He couldn't handle the distance anymore. A month later he got a new girlfriend and as the months went on and they dated I never got over him and frequently talked to him. He eventually moved back to where I live and no longer has that girlfriend because of the move. I still adore him and want to be with him, he just wants to be friends with me because he's quite not over the other girl. It tears me apart whenever we hang out and I'm just the friend, I deserve so much more. So what should I do, should I force him to be in a half hearted relationship with me, should I make him happy and just be his friend even if it kills me, or do you have any other suggestions that can make us both happy in the end, we can't live without one another. I don't know what to do anymore, please help. Thank you for reading this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): See the answers to your other identical post
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): You can't live without eachother is dependence, not love. You can and you will live without him.He ended the relationship a long time ago, he chose another girl, he's back and he is still telling you he doesn't want you as a girlfriend.The reason you aren't over him has nothing to do with how right you are for each other implied in your statement that you can't live without each other. Are you speaking for him, too. The thing mature adults do in romantic relationships is check in with their romantic interest to see if those feelings and commitment to you is returned.You asked him, he told you, and you are going to just go ahead and ignore what he wants and feels.You are so controlling and competitive with your relationships, that you are going to hang in there and FORCE him to be in a half hearted relationship. You can't force any man to anything, but you are setting yourself up to be used as a Friend With Benefits, which means he will dump you when he finds a girl he has romantic feelings for.His non romantic desire for you has nothing to do with your desirability as a woman, he is just not on the same page as you are, I believe the popular vernacular is "He's Just Not Into You."How much fun is it going to be for you to hang out with this guy while he gets his life established by being his friend and support system and then to have to watch him date and pursue other women/girls.It seems to me you already know the answer to that by how you are feeling right now.
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A
female
reader, batman5 +, writes (27 June 2010):
If you honestly care about him as much as it seems you do, you'd let him get over the girl and be with anyone else no matter how much it pains you because they'll "make him happy". In the end, he'll either miss what you and him had and want to come back or you'll see how much he didn't care which means you should move on and settle for being the best friend instead of the girlfriend no matter how much you think you'd treat him better.. I've been through it and luckily he came back to me and I hope it works the same for you because I know how much it hurts to hear and see them with someone else.
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