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I feel like I'm being ignored by my boyfriend...what do I do?

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Question - (14 January 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I don't know why but I feel like I'm being ignored by my boyfriend most of the time, I mean if we are alone then everything is fine but as soon as anyone else is there he talks to them and I feel like he's just completely blanking me, its not as if I want his complete attention 24/7 but it would be nice if he pays attention to me once in a while when others are there. I try and show that I'm bored by just messing randomly with my phone but he doesn't seem to take the hint. Thing is I love him so very much and would never want to lose him ever and he has told me that he feels the exact same way, and I know he is telling the truth but he does make me doubt it sometimes when I get ignored and when he randomly walks off to talk to others and leaves me either by myself or with people I don't know.

I don't know what I can do cause I don't want him to feel like he can only ever pay attention to me cause I don't want it like that :( so can you please help me?

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A female reader, ShamikaT18 United States +, writes (15 January 2011):

ShamikaT18 agony auntOmg I totally know what your talking about because my boyfriend does that to me constantly, especially when his friends come over. I try to include myself in the conversations but then its always back to playing video games and ignoring me. I try talking to him and telling him how I feel, so maybe you should try that. It hasn't worked for me yet but its worth a try for you both.

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A female reader, PatientlyWaiting1 United States +, writes (15 January 2011):

I think if you develpoed better social skills you would feel more comfortable. Are you shy? Try talking to people you don't know sometimes, a good way to meet friends. Just introduce yourself and mingle. "Work the room." Your boyfriend would probably really find it attractive that you can hold your own.

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A female reader, AuntyMaur Australia +, writes (15 January 2011):

AuntyMaur agony auntIt's not nice being ignored however I wonder if you're giving him space. Guys often need time out away from the girlfriend. This doesnt mean they love them any less. Men are simply wired differently to woman.

There will always be times when you bump into friends or family whereby conversation may distract the partner,if it appears things may take awhile then show him and yourself some respect and go do your own thing - say something like, how about we catch up later? or I will be just over here ! allow him his space. Being to clingy will drive him away, besides if he loves you he will always come back.

If you love something set it free,if it comes back it is your's if it does'nt then it never was.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011):

ignore him back.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011):

I am about to rant, so...please stay with me!

I had this EXACT problem with my boyfriend! He is so loving, and so touchy whenever we are alone, but...if we go to his friends house, he completely ignores me, walks around, and doesn't include me in anything!

you know what i did? I confronted him. I was pissed, uncomfortable and very unhappy. But i loved him, i wanted to stay with him, but i couldn't live with this for the rest of my life, so i had to fix it! i told him "Look, i think it is EXTREMELY rude what you did. I don't know these people! You can't just leave me there!" My boyfriend is very considerate, and understands emotions very well, so he took it to heart, and EVERYTIME we go somewhere, i say "don't forget about me!", At first i let him know that...of course i dont want to be attached to his hip, but..if he could just let me for a couple of times, until i got comfortable to be on my own with people i dont know. But i didnt want his friends to think i was some creep! so, instead of me just...getting up whenever he got up, like a dog on a leash, i let him know ahead of time, to ask me infront of his friends if i could go outside with him etc. For example, "______, wanna go outside with me with the guys to see the bomb fire?" or "_____, im going into the kitchen to get a drink, do you wanna come and get a drink with me?" or whatever the case may be!

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