A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a terrific, successful relationship for the past 7 months, 5 of which were spent in a long-distance scenario (no more than 1 visit per month). My girlfriend and I have fantastic chemistry together, and I can honestly say that I've never been as happy with anyone as I have with her...but there are small hiccups that, albeit normal, are bothering me..I've been having serious bouts of extremely low self-esteem lately, and can't shake the idea that my girlfriend doesn't find me attractive. Most of this is body-image oriented, for I am slightly overweight (a combination of extreme workload and medical conditions prevents regular exercise as an option). I've never really been exposed to anyone informing me of any level of physical attractiveness until my current girlfriend came along, so I really don't know what to think...I tell her that I feel far less attractive to her than her past boyfriends (physically) and she tells me that "looks aren't everything." which suggests that she doesn't find me as attractive..What is a skeptical individual to think in this situation? Any comments much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 December 2010):
 She made a general statement "looks aren't everything" you're twisting her words around to make it sound like she's saying you aren't attractive as her other boyfriends. Now, if she came right out and said she's not attracted to you then I can't argue with you there but she didn't even come close. Don't sit there and feed your insecurity by comparing yourself to her previous boyfriends. Obviously they did something wrong because they're not with her anymore and you are.
If you have low self esteem when it comes to your appearance then you're the only one who can do anything about it. Ok, so you don't have time to exercise. Everyone has at least 15-30 minutes they can take out of their day and exercise. You just have to have the motivation, which I'm not seeing. Also, change your eating habits, start eating more veggies, lean meats, and drinking more water. Doing that alone, and you will start seeing your weight decline.
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