A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am 25 years old and I have a 2 year old son. I have been with the son's father for 5 years, although I am not in love with him anymore and I really don't like him at all. He has cheated on me multiple times, he used to abuse me while we lived together and yes, while I was pregnant. He is an alcoholic and addicted to marijuana. Yes I know, what kind of a moron would be with this guy? Me, who used to be very confident and I am very smart, made dean's list every semester and I used to have tons of friends. I have been telling him for months I want to end our relationship, but he always says "I love you, I will change, I need you. Why would you do this to our son?" And I ALWAYS go back to him. He has threatened to burn my house down. He has threatened he would kill himself. He has threatened lots of stuff, and I am just being stupid. I did move out of our house together (that's when the abuse stopped-- at least physical) but we still have other bills together, not that that is a reason to stay together. But since I moved out I completed dental school where I graduated top of my class and now I want to start a new life with me and my son... without my boyfriend. I tried breaking up with him today and he started this thing again. "We have problems, we can work through them, I love you I need you," but I don't want to go back. I am sick of talking to the few friends I have left about this, but it's hard to do on my own. Has anyone been in a relationship like this? How can I get out and get the hell away from him? PS I should also say he is pretty much my first boyfriend. Any help would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): And you made a baby with him? Women making bad choices again. Careful how you manage the break-up because kid is involved. Glad to hear your smartening up -- dump this dude and get an upgrade. Alternatively, lonliness is better than what you have. Again, Mmake sure you handle your kid well.
A
female
reader, Full moon temptress1  +, writes (4 March 2009):
I was with a moron just like yours,except i stayed longer.I have been free of mine for 8mths now,and i've never been happier.You have already done the hard part and left.You have to be firm and let him know you mean business,although like damluvaam writes get a restraining order in needed.If you would like to talk more, don't hesitate to get in touch.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): I think that he being your first boyfriend is what's making this hard for you. You need to be strong and just break it off. Make the decision and then act on it. You will be better off. He makes promises but you cannot put your hope in those promises. You are young and have a good future ahead of you. Once you break it off with him and time passes you will see that you made the best choice. Don't wait, break it off as soon as possible. Be strong. You and your son will be fine. You will feel like a big weight has been lifted off of you once you follow through.
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