A
male
age
41-50,
*obby boy
writes:question dear cupid, will i ever find love i've been lonely all my life. i just can't attract women doesn't matter what i try. i've run out of ideas my life lonely and empty. even when i was at school girls avoid me they never talked to me. all my classmates had girlfriends but me. i just never knew how to get a girlfriend and still don't
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): Mr Lonely. I was in the EXACT same spot you're in now when I was 35. All my friends were getting g/f's or getting married. I was always the odd man out. I even tried dating services like Match (waste of time). The only thing that worked for me was eharmony. I'm not kidding. I found women on there that were in the same spot I was in and I was going out all of sudden. However instead of a g/f at that age, you may want to consider actively looking for a LTR. Find one that loves being with you and don't let her go. The nicest thing about eharmony unlike all the other dating sites is that they didn't have an option for "any", you had to answer all the questions with a real answer. All the other dating sites have an "any" option which blurs the results. Go for the 3 month option, it works. Don't let yourself fall short and be lonely. It sucks being lonely.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 How about you try and talk to them? Physical attraction isn't all a woman is looking for in a man. You want to get a girlfriend, go out and meet people, start a conversation and just go with it. Try and be charming in your own way but don't be pretentious, do not try and fake confidence. Some people say that there is someone out there for everyone and that may seem untrue but just keep trying and think about it, out approximately 2 billion available women out there, you think you won't be able to find anyone? You are sadly mistaken. Just keep looking.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): I am sorry you are running into problems and are feeling so isolated. There are likely reasons that are not identified in your question as to why women are avoiding you. However, there truly is someone for everyone, your someone may feel the same way you do and has just given up. Networking socially, getting out and making friends, and then finding opportunities to date within those encounters is the way to get started. First step, find something that interests you to do that has a reasonable population of datable women and start doing that. Don't look for a date right away, just get involved and start doing the activity, if the opportunity presents itself then ask a girl out for coffee, lunch, or whatever. If you are really awkward about what to do you may even want to get a counselor to help talk you through it, or your priest, or pastor at church. (BTW, if I were single I'd go find a single girl at church to date.) Good luck.
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A
female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (13 September 2010):
What do you mean "doesn't matter what i try" ?
The superficial (because first impressions matter a lot): Do you work out in the gym? How do you dress? Do you take care of yourself? Do you take pride in your appearance?
The deeper: Do you like yourself? Do you have a wide variety of interests? Is your life interesting? Are you a good conversationalist? Are you happy, and does it show?
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