A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and I travel very often to see him. But, this month our schedule were very difficult and he only has one day off. Nevertheless, I was able to arrange my schedule to be with him that one day; but he told not to come 'cause he was very busy. Then,the next day he was sorry and he want me to go to see him; but, I was mad about what he told me and I told him that I was not going, and canceled everything. I just hate that I am always trying the hardest to keep see each others, and the one driving the relationship. I get furious at him sometimes, 'cause he does not seem to care whether we not see each other in a month. On the oppositive, I am only thinking about him, all the time. I can't get him out of my head, I want to spend every second with him, share everything with him. I am totally and madly in love with him; but sometimes I feel that the love isn't mutual, and I suffer and cry (I don't receive love back). I need some advice: Is it normal for a person to be constanlly thinking about the other person, what's he doing, when he will call me, why hasn't call, etc...I did not go to see him 'cause I wanted to him him a lesson and I wanted him to miss me and crave me? But the opposite is happening I am the one craving him. What to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): "What to do?"
You continue to satisfy your own craving, until you come to realize that the man you love and think about constantly is not the right man for you. [wink]
It's like those people who keeps breaking up and going back to their lovers over and over and over and over again, and coming here to ask "Should I go back to him (or her)?" I mean, think about it, if you're putting in so much effort, and he's rarely showing appreciation and such, don't you think that the imbalance of this relationship that causes you pain and suffering is really just on your part? I mean, with sugar coating aside, yes, he's a jerk for not calling you back and making you feel special and stuff, but since he's been doing this for awhile, you know what you're getting into.
Hope is nice, faith is nice, but there's always a threshold - an overhead that you have to think about. Is it time to stop and move on, or continue on and on and on and on and on and on in hopes and in faith, that he will one day 'change' his ways to cater to your emotional and physical needs?
^_^
Aside from that, tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels, and where anything is going. Also, take into consideration of his type of work, and his own personal weaknesses. It's possible you are stronger than him in some areas, as he is stronger than you in others. So, just put yourself into perspective, before hard-deciding on a path to take.
A
male
reader, eskimoprincess  +, writes (9 November 2007):
Sorry to put it bluntly, but if you dont get the love and emotional support you need from a partner in a relationship, then move on. He might not feel the same as you, he might have other women where he lives, whatever the reason, your not getting the respect you deserve to be happy. I have been in a similar situtation and the longer i left it the worst it got. Find something else to occupy your time, painting, writing, evern answering these questions of dear cupid, anything to take your mind off him. He will prob be doing all the things you want him to now, in time, but then you will have moved on. I feel for you but you must be stron. good luck.
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A
female
reader, whiteshadow +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Long distance relationships are so tough. I know you dont want to hear it. But i have had a few and not one of them worked :(I feel realy bad for you. You sound like you have a heart of gold and well your boyfriend to be very honest sounds bored (like he has something better to do) which would be his reason for maybe not thinking and being as loving as you are.But i could be wrong.the lesson might work. apart from him.. write or think of a list with everythin that makes you happy and make sure you do those things at least once a week. i gurantee you wouldnt think about him as much as you are now. I am not saying forget him, just to chill and tone it down because i would hate to see you get hurt. The soft ones always manage to get hurt. i wish you lots of luckx
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