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male
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anonymous
writes: Heyim going to keep this short as i find it embarasing...I was out with my girlfriend last night, and we decided to have sex (were both 19) Im still a virgin, but shes not. Though at the time i could not get it up! My penis would not become errect! I dont know why though...Could it have been...- we had both been drinking (she said alcohol can affect it)- we were outside (but it was about 2 am in an enclosed area)- I was nervous? (though i didnt feel that nervous at the time)- Maybe in the back of my mind i felt it wasnt right?? (dont think so though, i feel im ready)Im even more nervous now for next time in case it happens again! :( Thanks very much!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 July 2006):
 I'd say nerves and your virgnity were the culprit. Drinking can be a big problem, too, because alcohol can have the effect of reducing blood flow to your penis -- just when you need it!
Don't let it worry you. As long as you can get hard when you're masturbating, and get the usual morning erections, then you're healthy and OK.
Altogether, I'd say that having first-time sex in an open area, outside, after drinking, and possibly worrying about your performance you could not have done a *better* job of setting yourself up for erectile dysfunction.
Next time, make sure that you haven't had too much to drink, that you're not rushed, and that you're both in a comfortable, safe setting. Do all that and I can almost guarantee you there'll be no further issues.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (30 July 2006):
 All these factors could have had something to do with it. My boyfriend and I have no chance of having sex when he's had a drink and, even if he does manage to get an erection, he'll lose it half was through!!
Of course, nervousness could have played a part too. Maybe for your first time, you wanted something a bit more special than outside? Maybe this is a blessing in disguise and you can both check into a nice hotel, get some champagne and some bubble bath and do it right!
Just chill about it, the more you stress, the more chance there is of it happening again. She is still with you so I'm sure she's ok about it, it happens to everyone sometimes! Good luck and I hope, when it does happen, it's magical!
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