A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner is 50 soon and he keeps talking to young women half his age in public when he's with me. He keeps helping young women in the supermarket for instance the other day a young woman dropped a can of coca cola in the supermarket on the floor and he quickly rushed to pick it up to talk to her. My point is she can pick up a can of coke herself she's a young woman!! He doesn't help any men I've noticed and he doesn't help me either. He also keeps staring at young women that are his type and saying hi trying to let them walk past. He also let's them walk up and downstairs and started shouting at me because I didn't wait for one young woman on the stairs when I am 50 and struggle with stairs these days. What is he trying to do it seems like he does it constantly and when I mention it he shouts and does it more. Why is he doing this? Ive had enough of it now and going to leave a I can't take it anymore Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024): Maybe the fact that he's soon 50 is affecting things and he wants to feel desirable. But if he's paying attention to all these women and not you it's very unkind when you've told him you're not happy about it. Is he trying to make you jealous and control you that way. Could you tell him how unappreciated you feel and that if he continues to do it they are welcome to him and you'll find someone who cares how you feel.
A
female
reader, Beets  +, writes (17 March 2024):
 I have learned through the years, that I cannot control another person. I cannot make anyone be what I need. They are who they are. If who they are makes me uncomfortable, sad, angry, or jealous, it's probably time for me to leave. You cannot control this man. You have told him how his actions make you feel, and what has he done? Escalated the actions. That doesn't sound very loving to me. In my experience, when someone loves you, and you tell them something they are doing makes you feel upset or uncomfortable, they stop doing it, because they don't want to hurt the person they love. Right? Just food for thought as you go through this. You sure don't deserve it, but you cannot make him stop.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2024): Your feelings are justified. He's acting like a jerk. He's acting like some (many?) men would if they weren't afraid of the consequences.
It's sad that he ignores you. Honestly, the women he "helps" most of the time do not want that help coming from a guy who neglects his wife and objectifies them.
From what you say, this staring at women thing is just a tip of the iceberg. Him not helping and ignoring you is the problem. These are just consequences.
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