A
male
age
,
*ildman
writes:How do you know the difference in really being in love rather than just being used to a mate? I sometimes think a fling is just a temporary thrill and not for the long haul. how do you determine the truth? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cakau +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Rhythmnblues,,you're a genius! Thanks for that answer, cause I myself and trying to define my 3 year relationship. I mean does the holding on to your relationship (based on patience and intellectual understanding) mean that you love, even though you wish things were different? Where does one draw the line between being a good, patient, loyal and understanding girlfiend, to wasting your youth and energy on someone who loves you but is horrified with the idea of committing to working, getting married or having kids (GROWING UP)..he is 27 and I am 24..should i move on? how and when will he mature?
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 A bridge called love…
Love is like the coming of spring,
it maybe slow and gradual or it maybe quick and sudden.
When we wake up in the dream of love ,
we can feel the music in the air,
the warmth of the sunshine and blossoms on the trees.
Love brightens , warmth and fills our heart and mind.
It is spontaneous and give indefinable joys and yearnings
Love can cure all the ills ,the wrongs, the cares and the sorrows in this world.
Love awakens and inflames our passions.
Love is like a bridge from Heaven to Earth.
The greatest love come from God
for He gave His only son to die for us.
So that we all can have eternal life.
Love is heaven upon Earth;since heaven would not be heaven without love.
For where there is not love , there is fear,
but perfect love cast out all fear.
And yet we naturally fear most to offend what we most love
-Penn-
When you are in love, you are blind and cannot see his faults. Everything appears perfect to you.
When you are able to see his faults , you become his mate.
If you love something..
If you love something, set it free
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin
with
If it just sits in your living room and
messes up your stuff
eats your food
uses your telephone
takes your money
and never behaves as if you actually set
it free in the first place
you either married it or gave birth to it!
Unknown
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): Love is something special and if you are in love you feel it and don't have to ask. Sometimes people think they are in love but are not and being with that person becomes a habbit. You care for them but something is missing. Only you can detremine how you feel. Ask yourself could I love another person? if no then your probly in love if yes than probly a habbit. Once agian only you know if you are happy. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Devil Spawn  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 rhythmandblues2 just nailed it on the head.
When I first met my wife she made my head spin, then with time we connected and she understood all my faults and I hers and we still were in love. I don't care that she spends too long in the shower, and she knows that my bark is far worse than my bite. Until it comes to protecting my family that is.
Now we have been married for 11 years. She is my best friend and I respect her.
I would never hurt her, cheat on her or carry on.
We have a "date night" the children stay at friends,with family or with some of our staff who live at the far side of our property every second saturday night and I make dinner for my wife and I, we share a bottle of red and watch the sunset from the end of our property. We will talk about everything and anything.
I would never give that up for a cheap thrill.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): There are about five stages to falling in love. Most people think the butterflies in the stomach stage or the infatuation stage in the beginning is love, it isn't really it is all those brain chemicals caused by the first flush of attraction playing with your mind.
Next stage is attachment....this is the official end of the honeymoon period, it is marked by a deeper connection of spiritual, emotional and intellectual connection, it is sweet and it is more calm and steady....it takes a lot of people, especially men some time to ease into this stage.
It is often filled with power struggles because in the first stage you projected your image of the perfect woman/man onto your partner, and now that the rose colored glasses are off, you are seeing each other in a more realistic light, but you are trying to mold the other person into what you want. If you survive this stage and form a solid foundation to your relationship,
You finally enter into unconditional love stage, or real and lasting love. Each person is aware of the others traits some they like and some that they dislike, it involves grieving the loss of some of the ideals you had about the other, and forgiving your partner for not living up to your ideals and you learn to accept the person faults and all, and learn to support each other through life and to enjoy the partnership it brings. Making peace with yourself over the loss of idealistic fantasies can take years and it depends on your level of self awareness, ability to let go of control and being able to tune into the relationship.
All of these stages can occur simultaneously, blend into one another or repeat themselves....so there is no easy answer to your question how do you tell the truth.
You just know because you have made it along the path to real love.
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