A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:How do you approach women without appearing desperate?Recently I've felt a lot more happier and confident within myself than I have been for a long time. Probably not since my first relationship ended in 2007. I've had several relationships since then, but it's only after my most recent relationship finished that a real sense of peace has come over me. I can't explain why, but I won't complain!I'm at the stage now where I want to just go out and date. Nothing serious, it would just be great to go out and meet women. I will admit that this desire probably has something to do with the fact that my most recent girlfriend (who I loved) started seeing somebody new just a couple of weeks after we finished. So it's made me want to just get out there, enjoy myself and be happy.However, I don't want to come across as desperate, but I'm not quite sure how the balance works. How does one make an approach without coming across as desperate? I would hate to make an approach and come across as some lonely, clingy guy, so are there any tips or is there any advice you can give me? Thank you! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): Don't deliberately go out 'on the pull' first of all - nothing puts women off more than that. My husband won me over by not chatting me up or using any cheesy lines but simply by giving me a big smile and taking a genuine interest in what I had to say. Go out with a few friends to a small bar where the tables are close together then get talking to the other tables. Talk to the men first - ask for change for a note/a light, or something small like that then keep talking to them throughout the night. If you see a girl you like then ask her about herself (job, interests, pets, etc.) and really listen to her responses. Don't approach the conversation as leading to a snog/grope/relationship/whatever you want - women can smell that a mile off. Try and relax, then if you're still talking at the end of the night don't ask for a date (too scary), ask her if she'd 'like to meet up again'. Give her your number and finally, if she gives you her's then don't phone the next day but call the day after that. Don't leave it any longer though or she'll think you're a player! Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): Your question has four paragraphs. Lose the thinking that went into the last one and use the thinking that inspired the first three.
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