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male
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*psus
writes: How can I stop letting my partner down?I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes. My partner and I have just moved into our dream house and I keep messing things up. We have been together for four years; the past three have been spent living with her family. We moved into our dream house a month ago and things have been horrid since. I love my gf dearly but I admit I can be patronising and condenscending and this is really putting a strain on things. Things have been really bad since a particularly nasty row two weeks ago. I said some spiteful things that I really didn't mean. I know I cannot un-say these things, but they came out in the heat of the moment. This isn't the first time I have said spiteful things. I just can't seem to control my mouth sometimes. I try to count to ten and calm down but sometimes it is too late and I have already spoken. How can I control this petulant little brat that comes to the fore sometimes? I am driving my gf away, damaging her self esteem and throwing away the best relationship I have ever had. It's so hard because before we moved into this new house we were talking about having children and planning our future together. Now we are both miserable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): Have you ever considered counseling? You could take some anger management classes or just talk to someone and find out why you get so worked up. There is also the option of couple's counseling. You could go see someone with your honey who could help you to work out the kinks in your relationship. However, it seems that the relationship problems stem from your inability to control your anger, so it's probably best that you work out your issues for yourself. I also have a suggestion that will most likely make your girlfriend a happy one. Try doing something that not many men do anymore: be romantic! Take her out to dinner, buy her flowers, buy her chocolate, try to write her a poem, tell her how beautiful she is and how happy she makes you. Do things to show her that you care about her and her happiness. I find it hard not to forgive a guy when he's being romantic. This will also help bring her a little closer to you and let her fall in love with you all over again. I hope this has been of some sort of help to you. I wish you the best of luck with this. Stay sweet!
~RJGirl
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