A
male
age
36-40,
*ark23
writes:Last May I got arrested for GBH - serious assault. I already had a 2 year suspended sentence for something similar and go back to court next week to be sentenced so know I will be getting 2 years anyway. My girlfriend has stuck by me through this although i didn't think she would and I love her so much. She is due our kid in November and I know I am going to miss out on so much with him and I hate it knowing that I won't be there for the birth. There must be other people who have been in a situation like mine and I just want to get any ideas on what I can do to make the best out of the situation. I have asked her to bring the baby to visit me as soon as she can as I know they don't let you out for births but it seems so bad to miss it. My girlfriend said there must be loads of people away in the Army who miss out on the birth of their kid and I suppose she is right but I will probably be close enough but not able to be there.I have had time to think about what I want and I want to be the best Dad I can be to my son even if I am in prison. Anybody have any advice on what I can do to let my gf and new son know how much I love them and want to be part of their lives eventhough I can't be there?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): You can be the best Dad by being honest with your child... rather than hide away from the situation you find yourself in as a new parent - write the child a letter (I know it will be a while before they can read) to express that this is the start of a new life for you both. When your child is old enough to understand they can read this and know you loved them even at this time - making sense of this period of time will be a huge deal for you both. It will help you connect to your child and your sincerity - which is clear from your post - will shine to your partner as well. While you are in prison make your plans - spend time generating ideas on how you want to be the best Dad and think about good role models - not bad ones. If you can make the journey from this anger and violence and prison to being a wonderful partner and Dad then you will have achieved so much to be proud of. But it must be real, genuine and come from your heart. Make sure you stay out of prison in the future - life is not a dress rehearsal. Everyone deserves a chance to change - this is yours. Make the most of it and your son will look up to you as a man that made a difference and had courage. The situation really is in your control.
A
male
reader, darkhawk9  +, writes (22 September 2010):
i dont know much about this subject but i think you have too options because the kid is new born and wont learn to speak till around 3 i think you will be fine i know your missing out on alot but if you're determined i know you will make a great dad i know this may be bad to say but its only the first 2 years of his life you will have 16 more years to make it up to him and have a great life you can choose to tell him later on or not but i know for a fact if your there for him he will come to love you=P
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): You can be the best Dad possible by taking the time your away and addressing what put you in jail. Anger issues, drugs... alcohol whatever - address it, deal with it and get out and start a new life. You need to be their for your son and spend plenty of good time connecting with him. Set a goal of spending four times what your old man did with you...
A little boy wants the love, attention and approval of his father. Learn to embrace his ideas, regardless of how childish they may be (he's a kid after all!)
You can easily do this, or not... your choice.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I'm so sorry that you're missing this! but we all have to live with our mistakes! props to you for trying to make the best for them... the only thing I can think of is visits and letters... and always let her know how sorry you are and that you love her for standing by you... if she doesn't know it matters to you she may regret it. sorry I can't do any better than that
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