A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some advise, there is this guy at work who I find attractive and we've briefly spoken to one another. I'd like to get to know him better but its difficult as I don't have an opportunity to chat to him.How shall I show that I'm interested in him? Some of my work colleagues know him but I don't feel comfortable telling them i like him. In a work environment peo tend to gossip. Help? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): start spendding time with him. try to b on your own with him. when the time is right you'll fined the perfect words
A
male
reader, NOmoreBS  +, writes (30 May 2009):
This is a great question. Really the answer depends on a few things. First, what kind of workplace is it? If you're in a conservative office environment with mostly professionals, it would be best to proceed more cautiously, both for your reputation and for your career. If, on the other hand, you work in a more relaxed, blue-collar environment, you might be able to get away with a little less formality.Second, how long have you been working with or noticing this fellah? If you've been working together for years but never spoken, you probably shouldn't force it. But, if it hasn't been as long, you might want to be a little more assertive.Third, what do you know about him? Can you glean any details about his personality from clothing, music he listens to, hobbies, overhearing any passing conversations (don't eavesdrop)? The best icebreakers begin with things we know well and are comfortable talking about, because we're in a situation that's not typically the most comfortable.To sum it up, KNOW YOUR TARGET. Next time you talk to him just ask him where he's from, ask something about where he went to school, ask, ask, ask. People love to tell about themselves. If you can get him to stop for three minutes and tell you something about himself, you're on the right track. Next, you'll need to send some compliments and a few physical clues his way. Never forget the value of a slightly naughty grin or the bite of a lip. Sounds silly, but we men are suckers for CLEAR SIGNALS. We are not women. We don't do subtlety. We like to know if there is a welcome sign on the door or a pit-bull on the other side. Don't tell him, show him that you're "welcoming." Also, in an office situation, a guy has to be very very careful. Even if he wants to proceed, he won't unless he is certain that it is welcome. SO, you need to give off some "come and get me" clues. When you say hi, touch his arm lightly for just a second. Little stuff goes a long way girl. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Matt489 +, writes (30 May 2009):
Just ask him if he'd like to go for a drink when your on your own with him. If you dont want to try the direct aproach then ask him to help you at work, then chat away while you work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): The next time you get a chance to briefly speak to him, ask him if he fancies going for a drink sometime, and hope he's not teetotal! Alternatively (or as well as) have a slip of paper ready to hand over to him with your phone number on it. Pass it to him and wink at him. Unless he's completely thick in the head he'll get the message.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Don't ask him out. It doesn't matter how society has changed, it's not a woman's job to ask a men out. Make sure, HE, not you, runs into you at least several times a week and give a little eye contact and maybe a hello. Just make him notice you and let him do the chasing. Just like you have noticed him, he will also notice you. If he's interested, he will come after you. If he's not, he won't.Yeah, and you're right - people at work gossip, so don't tell anyone about it. But off course, keep you ears open for a little office gossip, you can probably find out his status thru that.good luck.
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