A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help.My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year now and he says he loves me; this is not the problem. The problem is his mood swings, one minute he'll be absolutly fine and the next he goes incredably quiet and refuses to talk about it, passing it off as him being tired or bored. I know this isn't the case, it's far too obvious that he's annoyed at somthing I've done.But I can never work out what; his moods change so fast that at first you hardly notice until he starts mumbling answers when I become concerned and ask if he's okay or if he'd like to talk about it.He won't open up and tell me whats the matter no matter how much I plead yet he seems to expect me to read his mind and put it right. What on earth do I do?PLEASE help me. I'm in desperate need; this has been going on for months now. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): I disagree - when he opens up - it will be a tidal wave and you will end up on the receiving end. You will then end up with everything - his work problems, his home life, his kids, his pets, and when you turn to someone else so you have someone to lean on - they will do the same - it's like dropping a pebble in a stream - the ripples will cascade outwards and the knock-on effect will be a nightmare. He will see you as his confidante and you will end up drawn into problems you can't fix and most of it is probably some twit at work winding him up or overloading him with too much work. You will feel angry that you can't help, sad that he has 'issues' and you will end up venting - you will even make up issues just to 'get it out of him' - people will assume it's your relationship that has problems or that he needs to give up his job - what does that solve? I'm a student-counsellor - I've see it - you will then get pressured to take anti-depressants and give up yourself and no-one will ever get to the simple truth that you probably just need a weekend away together.I've been happily married for 25 years and what works best is listen - really listen - don't judge, don't assume and don't get involved and never assume it's an affair - more than likely it's the rejection of an affair (in all my years of experience that's what I've always come across).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Hey.. My boyfriend is the same and i've been with him 2years. everytime he gets in his mood i think it was my fault . i always ask him whats wrong but he tells me "nothing why you say that for". And the bad part of this is that i always have to fix the problem because if i dont then it would never be the same he will always stay quiet. I would think i would be use to his moods but im not. So to be onest there not much we can do. Giving him space is an option but not for me if i give him space he will not call me or anything. Theres alot of people who say "tell him to go see a conculer".. he probally even get worse because your kinda telling him you have problems. but everyone gets mood swings. and plus relationships are not perfect theres going to be ups and downs. The best way is to write your emotions down on paper or even listen to confident music .. :P.. anyways i think i said enough. Just dont worry to much about it.. I heared worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
If it was a woman then thats easy as we get p.m.s and alsorts of hormonal stuff going on in our bodys, Plus it can be depression sometimes. When its a man love depression is the most likely cause this can range from a slight depression not even realised by your b/f, Or it can be a more severe case, something is obviously bothering him sweetheart and if when you ask he says nothing then thats because he doesnt no, It will just seem like he is sulking and he will get worse as its not the normal behaviour pattern of someone happy is it.
Stop asking him whats wrong im not saying ignore this but the more you say whats wrong and are concerned 24/7 the more he will appear moody. Talk with him he needs to see a doctor to find out whats going on, You can say this as you are concerned and just say you dont no what to do to help him and this would benifit and help him as you are worried, But love you must stop going on and asking whats wrong, Even though there may be something wrong he may avoid help when he is getting sympathy from you. So sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind so to speak.
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/body_and_mind/41_better_living.html
Here is a link hunny I hope it helps and I hope things get better real soon TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Lorna.. +, writes (5 February 2008):
to be fair, its not really your problem, i know it affects you, but maybe he shoudl visit a doctor to see if ther is anything he can do to help? good luck.. private mail me if ya need to talk. x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 When he is not in the mood, you need to leave him alone. You will get hurt if you stay .Sometimes it rains and sometimes it shines. When it rains , you take shelter.
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A
female
reader, Rolly +, writes (5 February 2008):
I have this trouble with my own boyfriend. He won't open up but it's obvious something's wrong, and I have to squeeze it out of him like blood out of a stone. All you can do is ask him to be honest with you, as all good relationships have honesty.
Some boys have a horrible tendency to keep things bottled up and over-think them... and it's worse like that because when they do open up, they let out what's been bothering them for months, instead of talking through it at the time.
If he keeps expecting you to read his mind, you need to give him a reality check. You shouldn't have to force his true thoughts out, as it's not fair. Tell him how obsolete you feel that he won't tell you anything.
Communication is the key.
Any more questions, don't hesitate to get in touch!
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