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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I think I'm in love with one of my friends. She's the coolest girl I've ever met. Of all people on earth, no one understands me as well as she does. I also understand her very deeply; I know many of her flaws and virtues, and I still adore her for who she is. I know that if we ever become a couple, we'd be inseparable, our bond would be unbreakable, our love would be unstoppable.However, as you might have guessed, I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same. She's in love with someone from her past. She's very affectionate with me, but in a purely friendly way. She's constantly saying things like "you're like the older brother I never had" or "I like you very much - I hope you won't misinterpret it".I haven't told her about my feelings and I don't plan to, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's being suspicious and trying too hard not to give me false hopes.I've become a very cold person over the years, due to my two bad relationships. Before I met her, I thought I'd never fall in love again, but then she came and reawakened all these emotions that laid dormant within me...Anyway, my question is: how do I get over my love for her, without losing the awesome friendship we have?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're indeed very wise despite your age. :)
Just like you said, I manage to stop thinking of her most of the time when she's not around... But when we're together it's worse than before. It's now gotten to the point where she keeps telling me how much she misses her ex.
While I do feel a lot of sympathy for her situation, I'm just incapable of comforting her like this, I just can't be a proper friend to her. So I've decided to let go of her altogether. I have other good friends, a nice life, the job I always wanted... There's no reason why I should concern myself with romance and the friendzone.
I'll just take up more work, I'll make sure I'm always too busy to see her or talk to her online. If she asks, I might tell her the truth (I respect her after all and wouldn't lie to her); I wouldn't have anything left to lose at that point.
Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is worse than I thought... Today while I was with her, I was being tormented by endless romantic fantasies about us. I could barely hold my end of the conversation. .
It didn't help that the conversation took a very personal turn when she commented on the special connection we have and how alike we are.
Maybe I should just stop talking to her until it wears off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for your situation, anon.
Confessing my feelings would be absurdly risky. I know how this works. She hasn't shown romantic interest by now, so confessing my feelings would be suicide.
Thanks, iAmHereToHelpYou. It seems hard to do, but there's probably no realistic solution other than that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): Lol, this sounds the exact same as my situation right now, except my friend, (who I think I may love) is the one i said was like a brother to me just cas he liked somebody else and not me. Not anymore :'(
And now he sees me as nothing but a stupid little sister. My bloody mouth.
All I know is if he ever told me he had feelings for me too, I would be with him without hesitation, so ask her, she may surprise you! x
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