A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a man for about 6 months now. We had a great connection from the start which grew over the summer as we spent a lot of time together hanging out almost daily, staying frequently at each other's places and generally having a lot of fun together doing even the most mundane things. I feel we match well in a lot of ways and would really like to continue to build a relationship with him. The problem is he took a job recently a little over an hour away and moved. We now live on opposite sides of a major metropolitan area (he's about 30 min from downtown, I'm almost an hour out). We talked a lot about it before he took the job and I encouraged him to take it as it's much better, better pay and I didn't want him to stay in a job he was not crazy about because of me as I didn't want him to come to resent me later. I'm not in a position at this point to relocate, and wouldn't so early in a relationship anyway. The first month after he moved, everything was fine -- we still saw each other every weekend and about once during the week. Last week, we had what i would describe as simply a bad date -- we were both tired, dinner didn't go as smoothly as we hoped, and the evening was not very relaxing for either of us. We both left frustrated and upset though it wasn't as though there was a specific fight or incident. Since then, he's been much more distant. We're not seeing each other this weekend because he says he's got a lot of stuff to get done and needs some chill time. I joked when he moved about him dating city girls when we weren't together. He reassured me that he was into me (he has a hard time saying "I love you") and was fond enough of me to make this work over the distance. We met over a dating site initially and I looked tonight and saw he was online. Ouch. I'm hoping this is just a rut we can work through, but I'm scared he's loosing interest in me or frustrated by the distance and looking elsewhere. I really don't want him to throw all this out over one bad night and decide a long distance relationship isn't worth it. How do we get through this rut and how do I get him to focus on the good parts of the relationship and the long term potential?Thanks
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