A
female
age
36-40,
*ubblygirl
writes:I love my boyfriend of over a year very much. Theres just one thing: he can get a temper sometimes. Heres the thing, when he is stressed, I back off and let him sort it out and focus on things to try to help us relax.When im stressed or having the odd bad day, its like he feeds off my energy and gets a temper. He can get mad at me for anything. When he does, it makes my day even worse with his anger and swearing. Its like im not even allowed to have the odd bad day.I have tried talking to him about it and he said he'll "work on it" but doesnt want to discuss it further after so as not to bring the mood down. How can I get him to see its not personal when im having a bad day and to back off? What can I do to calm him down? Help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): My man is VERY similar. I do the same, Back off and let him vent. When Im having a bad day, I put my phone away. I let him know it will be off from this time to that and let him know my day is not going well. Since I started doing this, he now calls my work to make sure Im ok. Sometimes men with tempers need to realize we women have them too. We need our space too. Don't let his inability to control himself bring your bad day lower.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Hi
You can't CONTROL his temper...only he can, unless you wish to walk on egg shells and have no mind or opinion.
He could get outside help but again it will only work if HE wants it to.
Good luck
spunky monkey
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 He sound like he may need some anger management. You can tell him in a matter of fact way that he's not helping you when he does this. That you give him space when he needs it and he needs to do the same for you.
You know, it always gets me when people write something off and don't want to talk about it. I've been there too, but really it solves nothing. To me, it sounds like his temper isn't the only problem here.
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A
male
reader, Lukey09  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I used to be the same as your bf, my girlfriend asked my friends to have "a word" with me. I kinda listend to them, but one night after having a huge row over nothing i realised that i had to sort my temper out, i went to my doc and then to rage counciling, its still a part of me but i can control it, try watching a film with a similar plot (google it) once was warriors is a good one, and then compare the character to your bf
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