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Her low sex drive is making me feel unwanted

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Question - (29 September 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hey every one hear goes. Me and my partner have been together for 7 years. Are sex life slowed awhile back as expected. Not so my part though. So its now the end of september and we havent had sex since july. I would never push for sex as why would you want sex if it was one sided. This though i feel is not healthy for a relation ship. I have tried to talk about this with no answer. I always make sure she is cum before we move on to intercourse. As she doesnt cum this way. I am at a loss. She doesnt want to try new things. She says she does still fancy me. What could be the cause of this low sex drive. In starting to feel low unattractive. Unwanted and a bad lover. But sure she would not have stayed if i am as bad as i think i am due to her lack of interest

View related questions: move on, sex drive, sex life

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2011):

you're doing everything right, don't let this get to you. this is probably not a reflection of you, it's a reflection that she has something going on in her own life that's killing her sex drive. If she is depressed, having a rough time in her life, that could kill her sex drive.

men often think that the only thing that affects woman's sex drive is how good the man is in bed. this is not true, and is very self-centered of the man to think this. other things going on in the woman's life can and do have a big impact on her sex drive.

another thing that can lower sex drive is when there are emotional problems with the relationship itself. Maybe this is what's going on here, because when you tried to talk to your gf she didn't want to talk to you. So maybe she's got huge problems or anger at you for something else and that is what's turning her off to you.

what to do about it? just continue trying to talk to her about it but don't make it just about the sex. Ask her how she feels about the relationship as a whole and to tell you if she's unhappy with the way the relationship is going. be calm about it so she doesn't feel that she "has" to say what you want to hear rather than what the truth is.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011):

First I have to say this is not about you. Something is going on with her that is internal.

I know from experience that a woman's body is completely controled by her homones when it comes to sex. If she has any type of irregularity or imbalance, then her sex drive can change drastically and practically over night.

Some of the things that really effect this are:

Has she started a new birth control? Birth control is a double edged sword. It give you the freedom to have sex but also takes your sex drive away.

Is she feeling overwhelmed at work or in her life? A lot of stress kills a woman's sex drive.

Has she been sick at all? Maybe she has an internal infection down there but no symptoms, this happened to me once.

Depression can also be a huge killer of mood. If she's seemed off and down recently, maybe see if you can get her talking. She may need some talk therapy unless it's major, maybe more.

Finally, she could just be going through a hormone change or something else is messing with her hormones. It could be her diet, she may need more exercise, or it could be medicle.

There are tons of reasons for a woman to lose interest and often it has nothing to do with her man! Tell her how you feel and let her know you'd like to help her if she thinks something is wrong!

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