A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend said last night that he'd like to have a threesome with another woman. He's only ever said before that he'd like one with me and another guy. Personally I've always been curious about a threesome with another woman (rather than 2 men) and the thought does get me excited... But I've read a few questions on here about it, with most replies saying it's a bad idea if you're in a serious relationship. I'm wondering if it ever turns out ok? If some people experience one, enjoy it and then go back to their fantastic one on one sex life?He said he thinks it shouldn't be someone we know well or see often, which I think is a good idea for hopefully avoiding any issues later. He also said there's absolutely no pressure on me to do it and he's more than happy with things as they are... it's just something he'd like to experience with me as I would with him too.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 There's enough questions/opinions/articles here on DC that talk about how 3somes can damange relationships. Pay heed to them. If you're both very secure in your feelings for one another and know you can handle it and find a participant with the right mindset ('One 3some, no strings attached') I suppose you can go ahead.
My thumb rule for successful 3somes *MMF or MFF* basically says that if any two of the three participants have feelings for each other, it's not a good idea.
Take a call, but consider everything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): the missus and i have talked about this and she would like another girl i would love to aswell but i just a bit scred that we might split after it we do have kids and that and we r tryen new things in the bed room but this is a tuffy couse we both want 1 but have no idea how it would work after it i guess just keep talken about it and decied befor going a go a head with it if u do choose male or female or even do both ur can always try toys and c if that works
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): I think it can work out okay, but only as long as both people in the relationship feel secure with one another, and have enough trust to not feel insecure after the event. Of course, you can never know how you might feel after, but if there are ANY doubts or worries at all, no matter how small, then that is a sign it might not be a good idea.
If you do decide to go ahead with it, I think it is important for everyone to talk first and establish some boundaries or rules. If there is anything you would not feel comfortable with, or would rather did not happen, that will be the time to say it. And the same with your boyfriend and the other woman. If something is really off limits for anyone, that needs to be discussed first. So if you would be okay to have another woman involved, but would not like your boyfriend to touch her and would like him to just watch, you need to bring that up. That's just one example.
I think you also need to discuss what you all expect from it. Is it to be just a one off, and you will all carry on with your lives as normal? If problems did arise, how would you all handle it? Things like that.
I hope I am not putting you off here, because that is not what I am trying to do. I think that, if you are both comfortable with the idea, it is fine to go for it. But all I am saying is that it is worth having a discussion about it first, to clear up any questions, expectations, and worries anyone may have. That way, there will be less chance of the experience being regretted.
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