A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy casually (as in we're both free to see other people but actually don't) for about 8 months now. He's fantastic and we're both happy with not fully defining our relationship yet. He's just suggested we go travelling overseas together sometime next year. How much do you think I should read into that? I mean, it does sound like he's seeing us as something long term, right? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): No, it doesn't. Men and women see relationships differently. We women mistakenly think that "events" like time spent, meeting family, meeting friends, trips, mean something along the path to commitment or happily ever after. It means something to a man if he is not doing those things, like he doesn't like you very much, but doing these things to him are just events without meaning. In his mind he is just dating you, period.
If and until he steps up and "claims you" as the one he wants to spend his life with, then he can get off that path to happily ever after any time he wants to do so.
It is good that you are not cutting yourself off of the possibility of dating other men, however, you aren't actually doing it sounds like. That said if after 6 months he is not at the very least calling you his girlfriend, I am afraid it is going nowhere, no long term potential there at all.
He just has no desire or motivation to take your relationship to the next level. If that is OK with you, then keep dating him casually. If you want something long term, then I think you need to actually put into practice dating other men and leaving your heart open to them.
You never know, it might just be the motivation that this guy needs to step up and claim you forever. He needs to know that he could possibly lose you forever to someone else. And if he doesn't step up, then you are taking care of yourself and allowing someone other man to do so.
Take care of yourself.
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