A
female
age
,
*eadowsweet
writes:3 months ago this guy asked me out at a party, hes 55, sweet and kind, we went for coffee twice then to the cinema on 3 consequtive saturdays, I told him from the beginning I wanted to take it slowly and I was so determined to stick to this and not jump in to bed with him, that i probably was a bit distant and not so relaxed...i really like him alot tho.on saturday he said i dont know where this is going... something is missing.. and i said no pressure if you want to end it we can and if you want to see me call me.Thing is i really really like him and want him to give it a bit more time, he is i am fairly sure looking for a relationship rather than just a shag and so am I...is there any thing i can do, should i just wait and see if he contacts me...Im thinking if i had just shagged him early on we would of been much more relaxed with each other and maybe it would of worked...any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gridrebel  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Don't be so hasty to blame it on "shagging" or lack there of. Not wanting to jump in the sack right away is fine. Sounds though like you pretty much gave him a cold shoulder and you didn't offer him anything! Not even a nice warm and inviting friendship. Think about how you behaved and presented yourself and then ask why he would want to persue a permanent relationship with you. If you read this part of your post "on saturday he said i dont know where this is going... something is missing.. and i said no pressure if you want to end it we can and if you want to see me call me", you really sound as if you couldn't care less one way or the other. Give the guy something to grab onto! Call and invite him to an outing, something besides the movies. Maybe a museum or art gallery where you can discuss ideas. Be funny, warm and inviting. Talk to him and ask questions about him so you can both get to really know each other. You dropped the ball....now go pick it up and play the game nice.
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Dear Meadowsweet: Ring him up. Tell him how you feel that "you like him a lot" to use your words! I totally get where you are coming from - taking it slowly and not jumping into bed. I wish more women were like that! That being said - I think you are putting too much emphasis on shagging "early on" (funny-- in the US that's a dance done in the Carolnas on the east coast - I digress). Call him. Let me know what happens.
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