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He only wants sex and attention when it suits him. I am also feeling unappreciated, help?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My fiancé and I have been together for five years now. I just had our baby a few months ago. Lately I don't feel appreciated. The only time he ever shows me any love or attention is when he wants to have sex or touch me. When I'm exhausted from working and dealing with the baby he won't let me go to sleep. He wants to constantly touch me and masturbate while he touches me down there. And I hate it. I lay there crying..while he does it. he also has been bringing up his ex girlfriend. He admitted to wishing he was still with her. Help me. Please please.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009):

Sounds like there is passive-aggressive behavior on both sides because you two aren't communicating your individual needs and both of you are ticked off at each other because you're not able to read each others minds.

It's high time to get together with your mate and tell him what you want out of the relationship and how you want to be treated.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009):

Wow. This sounds awful and I completely sympathise with you. Are you happy with him apart from this and was your sex life ok before the baby was born?

The idea that he continues touching you even when you are crying is horrible - this is not what a partnership, or sex, should be like - as I'm sure you know. You don't mention if you have tried talking to him about it, or if you are interested in sex at any other times?

This doesn't sound like a sexual problem though - it sounds to me like he is taking advantage of your situation and, basically, well, I hate to say it but it's abusive what he's doing - have you told him to stop? I would consider, if it's at all possible, going to counseling together to try to work through some of the issues. But if things don't improve then I would say that he's not a great person to have in your life.

I'm sorry that you're going through this :(

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