A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I really dont know what I should do.....so please help and be as honest as possible.I have been married for almost 8 years we are in our very late 30's and have a lovely 3yr old.My husband and I love each other but he has completely lost any form of sex drive me me.We thought we'd spice things up and try Vigra ...but he fell asleep .We make love about 3 times a YEAR..and it is always me .he says he has no sex drive at all.I was doing the fileing and found a premium noon his mobile phone bill.Mide you he does not have itemised billing but if it is a premium no it shows up.So as we do I called it ...and it is an adult service to meet people.I am writing this while tears just roll down my face.any ideas as to what I should do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): Hi my love, oh I so feel for you how very very upsetting for you my love I agree with Veasse absolutly, if you cant talk without filling up then yes write it down...You so absolutly need to no where you stand so you can deal with this hunny, its so horrible to feel your sadness and not be able to help more, You wipe those tears and put it all on paper and he will have to talk with you, and you should ask of him nothing but the truth, Its so important you no what you are dealing with here... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF A CHAT I DO HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON AND GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS AWFULL NIGHTMARE YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU HUN AND IF YOU HAVE A GOOD FRIEND NOW IS THE TIME TO GET SOME HUGS LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, yellowdaffodil  +, writes (4 July 2007):
I am so sorry to hear this. There nothing anyone can say to take the feelings of betrayal, rejection and hurt away. This issue should be discussed between you too. He may resist or deny it. Be patient, let him know you love him and that the truth will hurt but you are already besides yourself and you have to know the truth. If anything, he may be putting your health at risk if he is promisciuous and if he loves you he will not want to jeapordize your health.You can hire a private investigator as the girl noted above and catch him in the act. No one deserves this treatment and adultery is a form of abuse.
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A
female
reader, Confused-Feelings +, writes (4 July 2007):
i think you should talk to him about it found out what it is that is making him want to meet other people. tell him to talk to you instead of going behind his ack.but don't think that you have to stay with him. just for the child. trust me its not the best answer. and i know how you feel. my ex Fiancé used to be sex mad but when he got home from 'work' he would be to tired. one day when he went to 'work' he had left his phone so i read the messages. jus out of curosity to found out that his 'work' was to go and see this other women. when he got home. he'd be to tired to make love to me. cause he'd been doing it all day!!
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A
female
reader, Veasse +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Aw sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Take a deep breath and wipe those eyes!
I cant give you advice on this but i can give you my view point an options.
First of all please do NOT think its you or your fault. He is doing something that is out of your control and if he was unhappy then thres no excuse to do that, he should speak to you. after all thats what marriage is all about!
Until you get a straight answer you wont know why he is doing this.
You have been married for 8 years and this needs to be sorted out, you deserve better than this.
you could confront him, if you know how he will react and know he wont hurt you.
You could try catch him in the act
you could say nothing and hope he comes clean with you.
If like me, you feel this cheating then please dont stand for it. Communication is key in this. He needs to admit to it before you can move on and discuss this, for your sake, for the babys sake.
If he knows you know then perhaps he will feel guilty or sorry and actually sit and talk with you.
If you feel you cant verbalise without getting upset or angry then write it all down in a letter and tell him how you feel, that way when he reads it he cant respond to each thing he has to read it and then think about it.
take care and i hope things work out.
Hugs
Veasse x
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