A
female
age
41-50,
*icela
writes:Hi all,I am having a problem. I am 42 years old and since I can remember I loved making love especially oral sex at least once a day. As a result of having a high sex drive I have loss a lot of sleep and have had numerous arguments with my partner. He just isn't into having as much as I. He is against me masturbating when he doesn't want to do it. Another problem that I am encountering is that I love looking at womens' genitals. I fantasize about being with another sexy mature female to experiment with but have been so unsuccessful. Yes, my boyfriend knows of my desire and he is okay with the idea as long as he can join in. My question is as follows: is my boyfriend being fair regarding his expectations: no you shouldn't masturbate and wait until I am ready and yes, you can have sex with another woman as long as I join in? please comment. Thanks!
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his ex, in the mood, oral sex, sex drive, sex with another Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MsFrankie  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 It's disrespectful of him to expect you to match your sex drive to his - just as it would be disrespectful of you to try to coerce him into having sex every day or more often if he wasn't comfortable with it. Masturbating is not disrespectful to your partner. Watching porn when you know your partner has an ethical problem with porn, having a one night stand, having an affair - these are disrespectful to your partner - satisfying your natural urges by yourself so you are not walking around in a state of constant horniness - so is not disrespectful. He's being childish. I bet you anything that he masturbates in private when you're not around. ANYthing.
A
female
reader, Micela +, writes (23 November 2009):
Micela is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo add to my question: my boyfriend is more than satisfied with two or three times a week. Anymore than that he feels our relationship is based on sex. often I think about masturbating behind his back but I don't out of respect. And no, it wouldn't stop me from making love to him since I would prefer to make love 7 and more times a week if possible.
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A
male
reader, TorontoJohn +, writes (23 November 2009):
I agree with the other respondents. You should be allowed to masturbate whenever you want. If he isnt into it, then you should take care of business on your own terms. Now, if this is something that is affecting your sex life with him that is different. It doesnt sound like that is the case here.
As far as 3somes go, i think he is being fair in wanting to be involved. If you are going to have sex with someone else then so should he. As long as you are both open to that, there "should" be no problem. The fallout of opening a relationship is something entirely different and will depend on both of your true feelings and being on the same page. I think its great that you shared these feelings for other women with your husband. At least he knows about it.
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A
female
reader, MsFrankie +, writes (22 November 2009):
Completely unfair!! I know it sounds a bit sneaky - but couldn't you go somewhere private to masturbate? Or... if you want to fire up your husband's sex drive why don't you give some serious consideration to your idea of having a threesome? I think that it's perfectly fair that he wants to join in and be part of it - it could actually fix both of your issues... hmm? But he's just been silly about not wanting you to masturbate - if he's not up for it, what does he expect you to do!?
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A
female
reader, MsFrankie +, writes (22 November 2009):
Completely unfair!! I know it sounds a bit sneaky - but couldn't you go somewhere private to masturbate? Or... if you want to fire up your husband's sex drive why don't you give some serious consideration to your idea of having a threesome? I think that it's perfectly fair that he wants to join in and be part of it - it could actually fix both of your issues... hmm? But he's just been silly about not wanting you to masturbate - if he's not up for it, what does he expect you to do!?
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