A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I used to work with this guy, we got along really well started dating. Things were great until I found out he was getting married. Yeah.. we even had sex. We were dating in the summer until early september. He got married in october. Even now he'll call me and try to hook up, I don't answer and he'll leave a message saying call me back within the next hour or whatever because she would be home. My thing is obviously he is a cheater but why is he calling me to hook up when his wife will be home. Why can't he wait to have sex with her? Please anyone... men, woman help me understand. Thanks babes! :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EA +, writes (2 February 2010):
Easy does it, everybody, with these quick to "just dump him" responses. The heart does not work that way, and neither does life, and certainly not love. Marriage is all too often merely a convenient business transaction. It's a contract that gives each partner certain life advantages such as health insurance, free babysitting services, a place to live, etc., which a single person must earn on her/his own. Ask your gentleman why he got married. He might be too embarrassed to tell you. If he starts hemming & hawing or suddenly has to get going, it is a marriage of convenience, not love. He is someone you have feelings for, or you would not be so angry. Talk to him. Yell at him. But, for your own peace of mind, don't just be silent. As for dumping him, that's easier said than done. I hope my advice leads you to draw your own conclusions about him--good or bad. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): You have to wonder why he bothered to get married, from all of his actions he thinks he is a single boy/man sneaking out of the house behind mommy's back.....my guess is he has a whore/madonna complex and he thinks you are pure sex and she is the good wife......change your phone number! Yuck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): How about his poor wife! I think her right of choice was taken away because she may not have married him if she knew. He is obviously a very selfish man and may even get off on this behavior. You have done the right thing, I think his wife needs to know though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): I'm the one who actually posted the question. The reason I'm so interested in getting inside of his head is because I'm actually in school to become a psychiatrist and cosidering I was experiencing this situation first hand, it would be nice to get other people's opinions to help me understand. When he's calling me, I think it's my business. Thanks for the advise though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Although you are doing the "right thing" by ignoring him, you sound flattered-instead of offended-by his inappropriate attention. Who cares why this guy is a cheating husband? He is not your problem, and it is not your business.
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