A
female
age
41-50,
*erryh
writes:hey guys, ive been going out with my boyfriend for seven months. he chased me for a whole year before that and we became friends before we started dating. it was fabulous, he was sweet, charming, funny and soo attentive. the best boyfriend ever!!! but a few weeks ago things started happening like hes not so cuddly, he not saying the usual stuff and complimenting me enough even quite the opposite, hes putting down my opinions, my way doing things....he used to speak of us having a future together..... look all the loving, sexual, intimacy is fading and i feel damn lonely. how could this go from him being obsessed with me and in love to acting aloof and generally not bothered.i love him sooo much and i really dont want to loose him.HELP!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): The surest way is to let this go on. If he feels he has landed you and there is no challenge maybe he wants the next. When there are cookies in the jar who wants them? But don’t lose heart, it isn’t you. You need to be less available for a while and show that you have your own dreams which you won’t sacrifice while waiting around. Perhaps you could just announce that you aren’t free this weekend because you have just booked a sailing course or something! You can say you are concnerned because you feel the balance of your relationship is a bit wrong and you have lost something about yourself that you want back. Being unpredicatable is the way to keep him on his toes – I don’t mean going after other men – just make him wonder and get his intrigue back. Don’t panic if you have to wait a while for him to react.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): Has his life changed in some way?
Did something really hectic happen to him?
It could be the reason he's acting that way
But... here's another theory that I've seen to be more characteristic of guys & probably a tiny bit more likely.
Guys don't like to be be the bad guy. The way girls react when a guy is the bad guy is probably why.
So... many guys don't like breaking up with a girl when for them the relationship is over (even if it isn't over for her) so they act out of character & badly to try and get you to break up with them. And generally it works because girls end up feeling the way you do at the moment.
What would I do?
One of two things
1) Ask him why his behaviour has changed so drastically. He'll probably deny it or maybe he'll open up to me about something. If his action is anything other than opening up to me - I'd tell him that if he's trying to get me to break up with him - he can grow some balls and do it himself 'cause I sure as hell deserve better. If he won't break up with me... see number 2)
2) I might skip straight to this option or add it on after 1)
I remind myself that I deserve to be treated better because I am amazing and unique (yeah, I'm a little vain - but I get treated right) & if he is being a d*ck its only to make up for what he doesn't have.
And then I break up with him because I know I deserve better! :)
Good luck with everything - hope he turns himself around and starts treating you like a princess i.e. the way you deserve to be treated:)
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A
female
reader, sweetbaby  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 i was on the same boat. we never had a closure so i am still assuming that we are both special to one another. all i wanted is for him to say that he love me no more or if he still love me, we should work it out together, no matter what. i always see him in my dreams. sometimes, i am becoming paranoid already, thinking that i might need some professional help to help me get through with it. now, i still dont want to entertain anyone. im not sure if all the time ive waited was worthwhile. this is just so hard. but i know, in time, we'll get the answer to our so many questions. im just glad to read some stories like mind. it makes me think that im still normal. ;-(
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A
female
reader, chick989  +, writes (11 April 2010):
sounds the same as my boyfriend. his reason seems to be because there was a huge change in his life - is this the case for yours?
also, i wasn't really interested at the start now i'm so in love with him and can't imagine life without him - now it seems as though he's losing interest. he told me the over day that i'm over powering. do you think our bf finds you clingy?
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