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anonymous
writes: I am 23/female and have a problem. I get really self-conscious when I am having sex and end up just laying there and my body just wont move and the whole time I am just laying there thinking about what the man must be thinking... The thing is, it hasn't been this way forever. Men used to tell me that I was their best and now men tell me that I just lay there. The only thing that I can think of which would cause this is that I had a boyfriend for 3 years and the last year of the relationship i didnt want to be with him so when we would have sex it would be me lying there, not participating..(but its been almost 2 years since we broke up.) It's like I forgot or something. I need help... any advice
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reader, sweets +, writes (18 April 2005):
Ok, i don't know if i can help but what i do know is that i am in similar situation. I was with my ex for 2 years and like you towards the end of the relationship lost all my sexual desire for him. Now i seem to have lost all my confidence in the bedroom unless drunk.My advice to you is 1) to relax and stop worrying about sex. One thing is for sure, sex can't be good with everyone and maybe you just need to find the right man who will put you at ease. Secondly, remember why people have sex. It's meant to be fun and exciting. So take control, rather than lying back and leaving it up to him, summon all your courage and seduce him. You havn't forgotten, you've lost confidence. So look back on the past review it but leave it there. Next time you have sex forget all the bad experiences and remember you at your best. Try to reclaim that feeling and enjoy yourself. At the end of the day, its just sex...
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