A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm married with two kids. About one year ago i saw my ex and ever since i have been thinking of him. Now recently he has become an obsession to me, though i am the one who left him. I'm happily married and do love my husband but at the same time i have deep feelings for my ex. Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): if you and your husband are a happy couple don't do do anything that can destroy that because if something is destroyed it's going to be very hard to rebuild again! And don't forget your kids who are more important than anything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): Forget about your ex and leave him where he belongs in the past, he is just a fantasy, you husband, and kids are your reality, don't do anything you will regret.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): It is very hard when you see an ex as it can open a door that you throught was long closed. It can be very unsettling. The only was to think of it is that he is an ex for a reason. You ended it and at the time it felt right. You are looking back and seeing each other when you were younger and at a different time in your lives. Things have moved on in reality.
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A
female
reader, TEM  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Even thought you are happily married and love your husband there must be something missing in your marriage or your family life that has you thinking about your ex. You are using this obsessive thinking to escape whatever the real problem is. Try to get figure out what the problem is.
At the same time concentrate on your husband. Is it possible that something has drained the passion from your relationship with him? If so, try to get it back. Think of all the things that attracted you to him in the first place. Think about what you use to do together for fun before you had children. Make arrangements to do them again. Find someone to watch your children and go on dates with your husband. Talk to him more. Re-establish the intimacy you once had.
It is natural for passionate love to turn into compassionate/companionate love after so many years in a marriage. It is also natural for us to forget the bad aspects of past relationships with an ex and think only of the good, especially when we are a little bored or unfulfilled in our marriages. You broke up with your ex for a reason. Focus on that and the good aspects of your life with your husband and children.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): its okey to feel that way...just give it time you will get over those feeling ...its like when you have a boyfriend and u still have a crush on someone else....
give it time,,,,accept the situation ...then it wont be as hard as u think it is
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): I have been in relationships before where i have developed feelings for someone else, although my exes usually stay in the past for me.I would say it could be a few things - it could be that you are unhappy in your marriage, but you have given no indication of this. It could be a distraction on your part - maybe you are a little bored and this ex symbolises excitement or something forbidden. Maybe you were really in love with this guy and seeign him has simply re-ignited those feelings - that's okay, us humans are complicated creatures. Or, and I think that I prefer this reason - it is just natural, just something that you are going through right now and it will probably pass. If this is the case, then just accept you feel this way for the moment and don't act on it, unless you want your marriage to be over.There is a school of thought that we need to accept our thoughts and feelings, however uncomfortable they may be. You may find that if you do this and stop making a big deal of it in your head that these feelings will move on organically and it stops being an obsession. Hope this helps.
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